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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart and table below give information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

These charts and tables illustrate the information about travellers at a particular holiday resort in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
tourists
Use synonyms
 by region of origin in Asia showed the largest proportion,
while
Linking Words
 other continents demonstrated the smallest amount of percentage.
In addition
Linking Words
, American
tourists
Use synonyms
 often choose more affordable hotels,
whereas
Linking Words
 Asian
tourists
Use synonyms
 often choose luxury hotels for their holiday. In terms of
tourists
Use synonyms
, Asia travellers accounted for the highest proportion at approximately 37%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, other continents witnessed the lowest figure at roughly 10%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, European
tourists
Use synonyms
recoreded
Correct your spelling
recorded
 as the second largest proportion at around 35%.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by US
tourists
Use synonyms
 at 18% during their holiday.
Besides
Linking Words
, the average length of stay by European
tourists
Use synonyms
 demonstrated the longest period of 16
days
Use synonyms
, choosing accommodation type as camping or caravan. Their main
activity
Use synonyms
 was swimming or sunbathing.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the shortest period of stay remains under Asian
tourists
Use synonyms
 only at 7
days
Use synonyms
, picking a 5-star hotel as their accommodation. Asian
tourists
Use synonyms
' main
activity
Use synonyms
 was sightseeing.
Moreover
Linking Words
, American
tourists
Use synonyms
 often stay around 14
days
Use synonyms
 at a 4-star hotel, and their main
activity
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 sightseeing.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
tourists
Use synonyms
 from other regions only stay roughly 10
days
Use synonyms
, and choose camping or caravaning as their accommodation type. Their main
activity
Use synonyms
 remains
applying
Verb problem
apply
show examples
surfing.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "by contrast, moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, days, activity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • comparison
  • spike
  • drop
  • correlation
  • seasonal variation
  • demographics
  • tourist influx
  • resort
  • holidaymakers
  • visitor statistics
  • notable changes
  • fluctuation
  • steady growth
  • decline
  • peak season
  • off-peak season
  • international tourists
  • domestic tourists
  • external factors
  • economic conditions
  • political climate
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