IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some parents believe that schools and the government should be responsible for transporting children to and from school. Others think it is the parents' responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Transporting
children
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 to and from
school
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 is a topic of debate in many countries. The majority of people think that taking the child to
school
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 is the main duty of the government,
while
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 others believe that
parents
Use synonyms
 should be responsible. I am in favour of the idea of the government being in charge of taking the child to
school
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. Some people argue that transporting
children
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 to
school
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 is solely the
parents
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' responsibility
,
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;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view.
This
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 is because
parents
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 from rural areas who cannot afford transportation fees might delay their
children
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's
school
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 attendance without worrying and causing trouble , and
also
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 cause it only but
also
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 the bad structure of the traffic .
For instance
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, without home transport , mobile
children
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 may be late for
school
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. So significantly are accidents reduced that
parents
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 prefer
school
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 buses. The main reason why I believe that authority and
school
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 are responsible for
children
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 commuting to and from
school
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 is that safety net.
In other words
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,
school
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 buses are more comfortable , which helps them sit safely and go to
school
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 without delay in heavy traffic .
For instance
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, if
parents
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 don’t have time to take their child to
school
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 or in heavy traffic,
school
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 buses can take care of that responsibility thoroughly.
As a result
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,
children
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 are ensured safety during their journey to
school
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. Having ensured
children
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’s safety during their journey,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
school
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 or the government should share the responsibility of transporting them.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it would be beneficial for both
parents
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 and the
school
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 requirements.

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structure
Plan your answer. Write one clear intro, two body parts, and a simple conclusion. Stick to one main idea in each paragraph.
grammar
Use simple, plain words. Check grammar and spell to keep meaning clear.
content
Give one or two clear reasons for your view, and add examples that fit the task.
content
A clear main view is shown in the opening line.
content
Some effort to give examples and reasons.
structure
Paragraphs have a basic order (intro, body, conclusion).
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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