IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people around the world are choosing to move to live in cities. What problems people experience in big cities? Should government encourage people ti move to smaller towns?

Nowadays, plenty of individuals all over the globe like to spend their lives in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 rather than live in rural
areas
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.
This
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 phenomenon causes different issues in
cities
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 , like traffic problems ,
as well as
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 overpopulation and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of resources. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the problem and solution of
this
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 criterion.
Firstly
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, there are different causes and reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 leaving the village and shifting to developed
areas
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, but
due to
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this
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 movement, rural
areas
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 have over populated , and the rush of vehicles will increase rapidly.
Moreover
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, there will be more competition among folks related to their jobs.
For instance
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, some times ago in China, a lot of
people
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 shift from urban
areas
Use synonyms
 to rurals area just for their financial and acdemic career,
due to
Linking Words
this
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 movement , financial crises came in china and the job market got high competible between individuals than there goverment force folks to go back to urban towns
as well as
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 provide them
cities
Use synonyms
 like amenities in their own village.
Secondly
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,
due to
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 the movement from underdeveloped
areas
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 to developed
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, there will be a chance of danger of over crowd of
people
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 in those particular sites.
Therefore
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,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 forced
people
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 to live in their own place rather than shifting to another area for some resources.
For example
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, in the survey of the world population, they mentioned that a huge number of
people
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 moved to
cities
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 every year
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the population of
cities
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 increased sharply over time. If it continues to
incrase
Correct your spelling
increase
, the population will reach its high , and there will be a lack of resources , and
cities
Use synonyms
 will over populated.
To sum up
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, everything that has been stated so far, villages are the heart and lungs of the country and backbone of
cities
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,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 if
people
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 leave them for some minor reasons, neither villages nor
cities
Use synonyms
 will develop.
Therefore
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, rulers make
people
Use synonyms
 live in their own towns.

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task
State a clear view in the intro and keep it through the essay. Answer both questions directly: the problems in cities and if the gov should push people to small towns.
coherence
Make each paragraph be about one main point. Start with a topic sentence and use linking words to show how ideas go from one to the next.
language
Use simple, correct grammar and spelling. Fix common slips like overpopulated, rural, government, increase. Use short, clear sentences when phrases get long.
content
Give real, simple examples for each point and offer a clear plan. Include two causes and two solutions. End with a strong, clear view on the question.
idea
The essay has a clear topic and talks about urban problems like traffic and crowding.
structure
It uses an intro, body and conclusion, which shows good structure.
effort
It shows the writer tries to back up ideas with examples.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • city
  • town
  • move
  • people
  • cost
  • rent
  • house
  • job
  • work
  • traffic
  • car
  • bus
  • train
  • time
  • air
  • noise
  • crowd
  • space
  • park
  • green space
  • crime
  • safety
  • health
  • hospital
  • doctor
  • school
  • shop
  • money
  • plan
  • policy
  • government
  • tax
  • help
  • jobs
  • region
  • develop
  • connect
  • choice
  • balance
What to do next:
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