In many developed countries, life expectancy is rising while birthrates are falling. As a result, the elderly will make up a much larger proportion of the population in future. Is this a positive or negative development?
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic → Introduction
There is no doubt that
nowadays is
raisingUse the right word
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birthratesUse the right word
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onPunctuation problem
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the other
handPunctuation problem
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are falling
, peoplePunctuation problem
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could argue that the elderly will make up the major proportion of the population in the future
andPunctuation problem
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iFix capitalization
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firmly
that could lead to a
impact
inChange preposition
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our development as a nation.
Body paragraph 1
iFix capitalization
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will elaborate on the rise of
expectancy, which in fact is the result of the
of
quality in so many levels
,Punctuation problem
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medicalCorrect article usage
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field
forPunctuation problem
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examplePunctuation problem
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has shown a
revloutionary advancmentCorrect your spelling
revolutionary advancement
and
offeringWrong verb form
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different medications and vaccines that
hasCorrect subject-verb agreement
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a direct impact on
and
health of the nation.
Conclusion
the decline in birthrates is
the proportion of the population
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Your view is clear, but the ideas are not well built. Add 1 or 2 main reasons, with a short, simple example to back each one.
Finish with a short conclusion that restates your view.
Use more linking words to show how your ideas fit, such as 'also', 'in addition', 'for example', 'as a result'.
Break the text into clear parts: intro, 2 body paragraphs, and a short conclusion.
Check spelling and grammar: fix mistakes like 'life expectancy', 'believe', 'negative', and use capital letters correctly.
You show a clear view on the topic.
Some order of ideas and use of 'First'/'However' help flow a little.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.