IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

In many developed countries, life expectancy is rising while birthrates are falling. As a result, the elderly will make up a much larger proportion of the population in future. Is this a positive or negative development?

There is no doubt that
life
Use synonyms
expectency
Correct your spelling
expectancy
 nowadays is
raising
Use the right word
rising
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while
Linking Words
birthrates
Use the right word
birth rates
show examples
Linking Words
on
Punctuation problem
, on
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 the other
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
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 are falling
, people
Punctuation problem
. People
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 could argue that the elderly will make up the major proportion of the population in the future
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 firmly
bellieve
Correct your spelling
believe
 that could lead to a
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
 impact
in
Change preposition
on
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 our development as a nation.
First
Add a comma
First,
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will elaborate on the rise of
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy, which in fact is the result of the
advancment
Correct your spelling
advancement
 of
life
Use synonyms
 quality in so many levels
,
Punctuation problem
.
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medical
Correct article usage
The medical
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 field
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 has shown a
revloutionary advancment
Correct your spelling
revolutionary advancement
 and
offering
Wrong verb form
offers
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 different medications and vaccines that
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 a direct impact on
life
Use synonyms
expectency
Correct your spelling
expectancy
 and
overall
Linking Words
 health of the nation.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the decline in birthrates is
negetivly imapcting
Correct your spelling
negatively impacting
 the proportion of the population

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task response
Your view is clear, but the ideas are not well built. Add 1 or 2 main reasons, with a short, simple example to back each one.
task response
Finish with a short conclusion that restates your view.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how your ideas fit, such as 'also', 'in addition', 'for example', 'as a result'.
coherence
Break the text into clear parts: intro, 2 body paragraphs, and a short conclusion.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar: fix mistakes like 'life expectancy', 'believe', 'negative', and use capital letters correctly.
task response
You show a clear view on the topic.
coherence
Some order of ideas and use of 'First'/'However' help flow a little.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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