All over the world, children in societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Nowadays

Punctuation problem

Nowadays,

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the problem of obesity among the young has become prevalent.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore two possible reasons for

this

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tendency,

as well as

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propose two ways of dealing with it. The first aspect that should be considered is the obvious availability of junk food, which makes it extremely easy for a child to opt for an unhealthy lunch.

For instance

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, the

amount

Check wording

number

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of fast food restaurants like Wendy's,

McDonalds

Check wording

McDonald's

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, or KFC has grown by 27% in residential areas since 2015.

Therefore

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, it has never been easier to order a cheap and greasy snack after school. What makes it even more irresistible is

bright

Correct article usage

the bright

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packaging

that is

Linking Words

purposefully appealing to young people.

For example

Linking Words

aforementioned

Correct article usage

the aforementioned

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restaurant chains all have pink, red, and yellow logos that are impossible not to notice walking down a street. Fortunately, advertising is a

poweful

Correct your spelling

powerful

tool that can be used with good intentions. The same strategies that are used to sell our children harmful nutrition could be repurposed and convince the youth that it is fun and delightful to have a balanced diet.

Also

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, parents and communities should do a better job at encouraging young people to be more physically active.

Instead

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of making it obligatory to go to P.E. classes, a variety of sports classes have to be available for students to choose only those they genuinely enjoy.

As a result

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of these measures, the rising generation will view

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

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lifestyle as something exciting, not dull.

To conclude

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this

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essay, children's obesity is a global and serious problem caused by malicious marketing and the lack of better nutrition options.

This

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issue can be resolved by making informed choices more attractive to pupils and eliminating

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

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lifestyle by providing fun ways to practice sports.

asyalenz

Feb 10, 2026

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structure

Link ideas with simple sign words like First, Then, Also, Finally to show clear flow.

content

Add more facts or proof to back up ideas, like real data or steps that show effect.

language

Fix spelling and grammar errors to be easy to read.

conclusion

End with a short, clear last line that sums up your view.

structure

Clear main aim and two ideas are shown.

content

Some examples are used to back points.

content

A plan to solve the issue is given.

style

Tone is calm and formal.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prevalent
sedentary lifestyle
energy expenditure
appealing
overshadow
marketing strategies
strict controls
promote
engaging
balance diet
nutrition
physical activity
informed choices

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All over the world, children in societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree?

In towns and cities many local shops are replaced by shopping malls.Dou you agree with this?

There are those who consider work to be the paramount aspect of life, suggesting that without career success, life loses its meaning. To what extent do you agree or disagree?