Water pollution has become one of the most pressing environmental issues in many parts of the world. Why is water pollution a growing concern for both individuals and governments? What measures can be taken to reduce the problem effectively?

In most countries,
water
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plays a crucial role in human life , and it is a precious resource.
However
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,
water
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contamination has become one of the most urgent environmental problems. Both individuals and
governments
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should be concerned about
water
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pollution
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and tackle it. There are many measures which can be taken to diminish
water
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pollution
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.
Firstly
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,
water
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has been severely contaminated by industrial effluent, domestic wastewater and agricultural
pollution
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recently, including groundwater,rivers, lakes and oceans. It causes not only a decrease in the amount of sea and river creatures but
also
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disrupts the food chain in both the ocean and the rivers.
For example
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, in South Africa, a pressing problem is that the number of penguins has declined. Penguins don’t have sufficient food to eat because the ocean is polluted in South Africa. The sardines, which are the main food for penguins , have decreased for many years.
Secondly
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, people grow grain crops with polluted
water
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. They may be exposed to
pollution
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and toxic chemicals.
As a result
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, it leads to health problems for people.
However
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, some solutions can be taken to tackle
this
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problem. On the one hand, the
governments
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can establish a law to restrict companies from discharging effluent and regulate them to treat effluent.
Moreover
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, the
governments
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can build the wastewater treatment factories.
For example
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, in Taiwan, the authorities built the
water
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treatment systems to deal with a variety of
water
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pollution
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issues in order to provide clean
water
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for the residents. The government
also
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enacted a specific law to regulate companies.
On the other hand
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, individuals can engage in beach and river clean-up activities.
In addition
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, they can contribute to charities which are related to preserving the
water
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resources. People have an obligation to protect the environment. In conclusion,
water
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pollution
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may lead to many problems and become a worldwide issue.
However
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, there are many measures that can be taken by both
governments
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and individuals.

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content
Task answer is ok. It says why water pollution is a problem and what to do. It can be better with more clear link to the question and more steps.
structure
Plan: make one short intro, two or three body parts, then a short end. Use sign words to show order.
vocabulary
Words: use easy words only. Some hard words are used. Use common word choices.
grammar
Grammar: check the space after comma and make each sentence clear.
content
The essay talks about a real problem.
structure
It uses order words like first, next.
structure
It has a closing line that sums up the idea.
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