IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The chart belowshows the types of communication training taken by employees in an international company and the reasons whythey took part in this training

The two pie charts illustrate the various types of communication training attended by employees in an international company and their reasons why they join in
this
Linking Words
 training.
Overall
Linking Words
, evening part-time training was the most popular choice,
while
Linking Words
 other reasons accounted for the largest proportion of motivations. Evening part-time training was the most employees' first option. There were 39% of the employees selecting it. Weekend part-time and self-tuition each attracted 22% of participants.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
show examples
 distant learning and intensive training were less popular, with 12% and 5%."Other reasons" was the highest percentage. Communication with clients was the second most significant reason at 17%, followed by business travel at 14%, personal interest at 13%, and holiday travel at 13%.

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task response
The essay has some good points but a few facts are not clear or true. Check the numbers and which chart they come from.
structure
The order is not clear. Start with a short intro, then give data, then a small end.
coherence
Use simple link words to show how parts go with each other, like first, then, also, and in addition.
grammar
Fix grammar. Use right verb and plural forms when you say numbers.
data
Be clear with data. Do not mix up 'Other reasons' with other data if the chart shows a different value.
structure
End with a short closing line to finish the write up.
content
The writer tries to sum up both charts.
data
Many data points (numbers) from the charts are used.
language
There is an effort to describe the charts, not just talk.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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