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Writing Samples
Band 5

The rise in crime rate in many countries what are the courses what are the solutions

Nowadays, there has been a rapid increase in crime percentages. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain the reasons for
this
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 trend and provide ways to solve
this
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 matter. On the one hand, there are various reasons why
crimes
Use synonyms
 have been committed many times.
Firstly
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, lack of jobs: if an individual does not have a job, they may tend to commit
crimes
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such
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 as theft and pickpocketing.
Secondly
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, mental health issues: some
people
Use synonyms
 suffer from untreated mental health problems and trauma, which may lead them to commit offences.
Thirdly
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, the
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of rules and laws established by the government. Many
people
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 think it is okay to commit
crimes
Use synonyms
 on the road,
for example
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, speeding and driving without a licence. These
crimes
Use synonyms
 are committed by
people
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 who think they will get away with it and that they will not face
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harsh punishment.
On the other hand
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, there are several solutions we can treat these problems
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Authorities
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as the
police
Punctuation problem
police,
show examples
 should start investing in and holding events and classes that involve teaching
people
Use synonyms
 about the laws and what kind of fines they will get or sentences they may face.
Also
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, governments should start allocating a certain amount of the country's income and begin introducing programmes to hire
people
Use synonyms
 who do not have a job or are at risk of facing poverty.
To conclude
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, criminals are still a part of the community;
therefore
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, governments should start funding programmes to educate them and invest in programmes that include all kinds of skills,
for instance
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, sports and art.

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coherence
Use linking words to move from reasons to how to fix things. This helps flow.
content
Give one clear example for each reason and do the same for solutions, to show why they fit.
lexical
Be careful with word choice. Some phrases are not simple; use common words.
structure
Make a strong conclusion that restates the main idea and ends with a final thought.
overall
The essay has a clear topic and tries to discuss causes and solutions.
content
Examples of crimes like theft and speeding are given.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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