IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

ageing population create benefits to business, economy and society. Some others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays, the
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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population
Use synonyms
accounted to be
Wrong verb form
is
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 increasing.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is dominated by
aged
Correct pronoun usage
those aged
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 50 and above. Some might say that
this
Linking Words
 huge number of elderly
Check wording
people bring
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bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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 great benefits to the business, the economy, and
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 of a city. In my opinion,
this
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 phenomenon creates more advantages than drawbacks. The
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
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population
Use synonyms
 is
keeping
Wrong verb form
continuing to
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 rise its number as the age limitations of
productive
Correct article usage
the productive
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 age
being
Verb problem
are being
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 expanded.
By having
Change preposition
Having
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 multiple elderly
in
Check wording
people in
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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employment
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 creates
such
Linking Words
 benefits,
for example
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, their exposure
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 precious. A company should not experience loss by recruiting an expert who usually originates from an experienced professional. Years of expertise mean, great amount of knowledge and skills being mastered by a professional. By sharing knowledge and skills with a new generation, we can deliver a better
Punctuation problem
, skillful
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skillful
Correct word choice
more skilled
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 employee who can contribute positively to the economy and community.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in my observation, boomers tend to be more resilient than recent generations. It can be shown from numerous boomers mostly placed at the highest position in a company or a
field business
Correct word order
business field
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. By having more resilient workers, an employment can run more smoothly with minimal
of
Change preposition
apply
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changes from the employee or the working culture.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 affects either directly or indirectly personal matters,
such
Linking Words
 as becoming a role model for
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 in reflecting the highest level of position as a resilient professional.
However
Linking Words
, having more elderly on running a function or in a
population
Use synonyms
facse
Correct your spelling
faces
 some challenges.
For instance
Linking Words
, when people get older, stamina and health become a problem
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can lead to reduced productivity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, multiple boomers are resistant to adapting to the evolving working culture, even though hybrid working has become increasingly common in the digital era. They prefer not to change working habits and follow technology trends. In conclusion, though high levels of aged
population
Use synonyms
 have disadvantages in our nation, the involvement, knowledge, skills and personality have more benefits to those who continue the generation, that plenty of good references that
youth
Correct article usage
the youth
show examples
 generation can adapt in today's society.

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grammar
Fix grammar and verb form. Use clear tense. For example, 'The aging population is rising' or 'The number of older people is rising'.
organization
Make a plan: intro, two body parts, then a short conclusion. Start each body with a clear topic sentence.
content
Give more clear proof for each point. Use simple examples to show how old people help or slow work.
coherence
Link ideas with small words like also, but, however, for example to join ideas.
vocabulary
Use short and clean sentences. Cut long or hard phrases.
content
The essay talks about both sides and shows a view.
structure
There is a clear view from the writer.
content
It uses some good ideas about elder skill and role in work.
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