IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many people believe that social networking websites such as facebook and instagram, have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society. To what extent do you agree?

The debate about whether students
use
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 electronic devices during
class
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 or
use
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 traditional
paper
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 and textbooks has divided opinions. Some people believe that using devices like tablets or laptops may affect creativity, limit social interactions, and lead to loss of attention. Personally, I believe that traditional
paper
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 during
class
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 has more advantages than disadvantages, in relation to concentration and mental development One major advantage of working with
paper
Use synonyms
 and textbooks during
class
Use synonyms
 is the recent investigations that show the reduction in sensory overload in students.
This
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 leads to better attention, because the
paper
Use synonyms
 is a very basic material, without overstimulation.
For example
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, in my experience, it is very common to write ideas and listen to the professor at the same time;
As a result
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, my mind is more
organized
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organised
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 and connected to the subject taught. Despite these advantages, the exclusive
use
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 of
paper
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 and physical texts in classrooms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 there are
also
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 some disadvantages compared to electronic devices. One problem is that
Correct pronoun usage
it limit
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limit
Correct subject-verb agreement
limits
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern learning, and the loss of
update
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updated
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 information, it
difficults
Correct your spelling
difficult
the
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apply
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access to
Correct word order
to access
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the
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apply
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knowledge.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2020, because of the pandemic,
the
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apply
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people
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use
Wrong verb form
used
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Correct article usage
the more
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more internet
Correct word order
internet more
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Verb problem
to for
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for search
Correct word order
search for
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 information during
class
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,
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 consulting a
guide book
Use the right word
guidebook
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,
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.
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 I had
that
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the
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 same experience,
then
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this
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 situation has promoted
the
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apply
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quick search,
so
Correct word choice
apply
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Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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the
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apply
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multimedia interactivity.

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task response
To improve task response, state a clear view in the opening paragraph and keep it in the rest of the text. Add more ideas that fit the topic and support them with simple, real examples.
coherence
For better coherence, start each paragraph with a clear main idea and link ideas with simple words like also, but, for example, and in the end give a short closing sentence.
content
The writer shows a clear view about the use of paper in class.
content
The essay gives some real examples, such as the year 2020, to show change in study method.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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