IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many young people are leaving their home in rural area to study or work in cities.What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

In the midst of global dynamics, education is one of
critical
Correct article usage
the critical
show examples
 aspect that determine how far people can survive and
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their needs.
Urbanization
Change the spelling
Urbanisation
show examples
 can be a solution for people to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better access and
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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 to
pass
Verb problem
pursue
show examples
 higher
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of education.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in cities, there are many facilities
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 provided rather than in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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. Meanwhile, the intensified businesses
also
Linking Words
 provide a lot of jobs and open a chance to improve people's welfare.

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task
Add a clear view on why young people may leave rural areas and add one or two simple examples.
structure
Make a short plan with an intro, 2-3 main ideas, and a short end.
coherence
Use small linking words like and, but, also, so to help flow.
content
The piece speaks on the big idea of city life for study and work.
coherence
It shows how city life can help with learning and getting a job.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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