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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people argue that technological inventions, such as smartphones, are making people less socially active. Do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, there is an ongoing debate about whether technological inventions are making
people
Use synonyms
 less socially active.
This
Linking Words
 issue has become increasingly relevant in today's
developing rapidly
Correct word order
rapidly developing
show examples
 technical societies. I personally agree with
this
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 view for several reasons.
First,
Linking Words
especially
due to
Linking Words
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 try not to
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
interaction
Replace the word
interact
show examples
Use synonyms
face to
Use the right word
face-to-face
show examples
face
Use synonyms
. Thesedays, many
people
Use synonyms
 can text messages
instead
Linking Words
 of talking, which can make them to have the fear of talk orally. For
examply
Correct your spelling
example
, nowadays many young
people
Use synonyms
 who prefer texting messages, relying on their portable
phones
Punctuation problem
phones,
show examples
 tend to avoid
to be
Wrong verb form
being
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 on the phone or
do
Verb problem
having face-to-face
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conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
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face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
. It can be
cause
Correct article usage
a cause
show examples
 for a serious lack of sociality.
Moreover
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,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer spending time
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 watching social media like
Youtube
Use the right word
YouTube
show examples
,
Tiktok
Use the right word
TikTok
show examples
, and Instagram
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 hanging out with others in reality.
While
Linking Words
focuing
Correct your spelling
focusing
 on social media,
They
Fix capitalization
they
show examples
 don't need to be interactive and socialable, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them forget how to treat various
people
Use synonyms
 socially.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent study argues that
techolocial
Correct your spelling
technological
 inventions make
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
unsocialable
Correct your spelling
unsociable
due to
Linking Words
 addiction
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
 in technology like smartphones. In conclusion, it is undeniable that
this
Linking Words
discuss
Replace the word
discussion
show examples
 can be contentious, but I strongly support that
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 inventions allow
people
Use synonyms
 to be
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
.

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Task response
State a clear view in the opening and outline the main reasons, then develop them in order.
Coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences for each paragraph and link ideas with simple words like and, but, also, then.
Language accuracy
Check word use and grammar; choose simple words carefully and proofread for spelling and form errors.
task response
A clear view on the topic is given.
coherence
There is use of sequence words to guide the reader.
content
Some examples are given to support ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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