IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

the government's investment in art's music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extend do you agree with the statement?

In the modern globalisation, authorities invest in skills like art and theatre is not
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
. Owing to
this
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 need to spend
money
Use synonyms
 to make public services better. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraphs
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will
discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
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. To
inaugurate
Verb problem
begin
show examples
 with,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 spend
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
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 of expenditure on old art
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 and other cultural buildings. It is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 decision because authorities want to protect the cultural values.
A part
Use the right word
Apart
show examples
 from
this
Linking Words
, spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
musuem
Correct your spelling
museums
 and
theatre
Fix the agreement mistake
theatres
show examples
 is better for
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 generation so they keep
a live
Use the right word
alive
show examples
 their tradition by visiting these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of historical buildings.
For example
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
modernization
Change the spelling
modernisation
show examples
parents
Punctuation problem
, parents
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 do have more leisure time from their hectic schedule to teach traditional and cultural
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
show examples
 as well. By visiting their
tbey
Correct your spelling
they
 learn by themself. On the
otherside
Correct your spelling
other hand
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should need to spend more
expenditure
Check wording
apply
show examples
on public sectors like hospitals and other health
clinic
Fix the agreement mistake
clinics
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
spending more
money
Use synonyms
 on
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 sector makes people
more healtheir
Correct your spelling
healthier
 and active. If we talk about developing
countries
Punctuation problem
countries,
show examples
 they do not have
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 healthcare system. So,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should spend on it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, higher authorities
also
Linking Words
 need to spend on gyms. Owing to
this
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should spend more
money
Use synonyms
 to make public infrastructure. To be conclude,
government
Use synonyms
 spend
money
Use synonyms
 on keeping traditional value alive.
Although
Linking Words
 spending on
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 sector is
much
Rephrase
very
show examples
 important to
make
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
 equilibrium in the country.

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task response
Say your view at the start in one short line and keep it in mind while you write.
language
Use short and clear sentences. Break long ideas into small lines.
structure
Make a plan: intro, two body parts, short finish. Each paragraph has one main idea.
content
Give real examples that fit the task and explain how they show your point.
accuracy
Check spell and grammar. Words like 'globalisation', 'crucial', 'these'.
content
The writer shows a view and tries to discuss both sides.
structure
There is a try to link art value with public money.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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