IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Nowadays the way many people interact with eachother has changed because of technology. In what ways has teechnology affected the type of relationships people make? has this become a positive or negative development?

Whether
technology
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 is affecting our type of relationship or not,
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people
Check wording
people's
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interaction
Fix the agreement mistake
interactions
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 always been changing
due to
Linking Words
modernization
Change the spelling
modernisation
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.
This
Linking Words
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
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 the way
people
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 connect with
the
Correct article usage
each
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 other and XYZ. In my
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
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 with the
improvement
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improvements
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technology
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 has, it's making a positive impact
for
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on
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people
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's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
For example
Linking Words
, we don't need to visit a place and spend a lot of
money
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 to check
our
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on our
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relative
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relatives
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 because with just a few clicks
with
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on
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 our
phone
Add a comma
phone,
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 we can make a connection with them. Years ago, not only
we
Verb problem
did we
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 have to spend
money
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for
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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transportation
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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also
Linking Words
to
Verb problem
apply
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spare some time to visit them. Nowadays, we don't need to spend that much
money
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 and time to see our loved ones because of
technology
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. With the help of
technology
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, all we need is just a few clicks
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 we can see them through our phone. Save some
money
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 and time.
Although
Linking Words
 some
people
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 think that
connection
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connections
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build
Wrong verb form
built
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 online through our
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not as strong as meeting them face to face, I believe that interaction is not about meeting online or offline. For me, the development of
technology
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 has been helping
people
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 to build
connection
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apply
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better
.
Check wording
connections.
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 To connect with many
people
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 across the world and easily check
with
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in with
show examples
 them.

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structure
Make your start and end clear. In the intro, say you think tech has a good side and a bad side, then in the body give one or two points. End with a short line that restates your view.
coherence
Use one main idea in each paragraph. Right now you mix ideas. Put one idea in each paragraph and show how it ties to your view.
grammar
Use simple grammar. Check small errors like 'This include' should be 'This includes' and 'build online' should be 'built online' or 'online connections.'
style
Cut long lines. Use shorter sentences and short ideas. It helps the reader.
content
Remove 'XYZ' and any filler. Use clear examples that match the topic.
idea
Your view on tech helping people to stay in touch is clear.
evidence
You give a simple example of saving time and money.
stance
The tone stays positive toward tech.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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