IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the bar chart below shows the top ten countrie for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

The bar chart
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
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 the amount of electricity
power
Check wording
apply
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produced and consumed by the top countries in the world in 2014.
Units
Use synonyms
 are measured in
kHw
Correct your spelling
kWh
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
China
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 held
lead
Correct article usage
the lead
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possition
Correct your spelling
position
 with the largest
production
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 and consumption
energy
Change preposition
of energy
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 power. Following
China
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, the USA was in second rank
Punctuation problem
, which
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which
Correct word choice
where
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suply
Correct your spelling
supply
 and demand for energy
trypled
Correct your spelling
tripled
 compared to third in the rank
Russia
Punctuation problem
, Russia
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.
However
Linking Words
 there are other top countries that generation and usage of electrical energy less than thousand of miilion
units
Use synonyms
.
China
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stoot
Correct your spelling
stood
 out as a leading nation with
production
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 and consumption figures reaching nearly 5,400
billion
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kWh
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
producing
Punctuation problem
, producing
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 roughly 4,100
billion
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kWh
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of electricity
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electricity
Punctuation problem
electricity,
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 the USA lead
second
Change preposition
in second
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 place, which
lower
Verb problem
is lower
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 than
China
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 but significantly higher than
third
Correct article usage
the third
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 country.
However
Linking Words
, Russia
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 its
production
Use synonyms
 of 1,057
billion
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kWh
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 and usage of 1,038
billion
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units
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, held their third place in rank.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the middle group of remaining nations had much lower figures, all falling around or below the 1,000
billion
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kWh
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 mark. Like countries Japan, India, Canada, France, Brazil, Germany, Korea republic
production
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 and consumption electro power began with 449.5
billion
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kWh
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 to 936.2
billion
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kWh
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Germany is the only country that consumed slightly more electricity (582.5
billion
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units
Use synonyms
) than it produced (5266
billion
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units
Use synonyms
).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words units, china, production, billion, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity production
  • electricity consumption
  • gigawatt hours (GWh)
  • renewable energy sources
  • non-renewable energy sources
  • industrialization
  • economic activities
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainability
  • energy efficiency
  • power generation
  • grid capacity
  • energy policies
  • consumption patterns
  • energy demand
  • production-consumption disparity
  • environmental impact
  • greenhouse gas emissions
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