IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The best way to protect the environment is to use local resource, such as food or building materials rather than transporting resources from other places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

in
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In
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 recent years, environmental
issue
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issues
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been a global concern.
some
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Some
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 people argue that the most effective way to save the
environment
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 is by utilising local
resources
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,
such
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 as
food
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 and construction materials.
This
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 essay completely
agree
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agrees
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 with the notion, and I believe the use of local
resources
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 is the most
efficiant
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efficient
 method to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature. One main reason why using local
resources
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 is beneficial for
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
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environment
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 is that it reduces the
produces
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production
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 of carbon emissions. Transporting
food
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 ingredients
and
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apply
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and building materials from other places requires cars, trains, flights, and ships. These transportation modes
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 fossil fuels to operate.
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consequently
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Consequently
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, the amount of pollution rises.
By contrast
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, prioritising close-by
food
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 and materials
lower
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lowers
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 the carbon emissions production, resulting in healthier air with less pollution.
Furthermore
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, another important reason why prioritising local community produce can be beneficial for
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 is that
this
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 will help the community to be less
reliance
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reliant
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to
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on
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 external supplies. Choosing to use more local products
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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control towards the quality of
food
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 they purchase.
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for
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For
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 instance, a small village in Indonesia
,
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apply
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 has been declared as a place with the most fertilised soil in the country.
This
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 is
due to
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 the local
officials
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officials'
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 policy that requires the residents to purchase only from local farmers with
organic
Correct article usage
an organic
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 farming strategy. Organic farming method has been proven as the best and the
the
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apply
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safest way for
sustainable
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a sustainable
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environment
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.
To conclude
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, I strongly believe that choosing to use the local
resources
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 is the most effective way to protect the natural
environment
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. By using local
resources
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, it reduces the carbon
emmissions
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emissions
that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 harmful
for
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it
also
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reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 the reliance
of
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on
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 external supplies and gives more control to the local communities for
enviromentally
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environmentally
 safe farming
menthod
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methods
.

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structure
Plan your essay. Have a short start, a body with 2 main ideas, and a short end. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
content
Make ideas clear. Show how local use cuts gas and how this helps town. Give one clear example that fits.
grammar
Fix spelling and form. Check words like emmissions, efficient, environment, produces, the the.
language
Use simple words. Do not run on long lines. Use short sentences.
coherence
Use linking words well. Use also, but, so to join ideas.
tone
You show a clear view on the topic
structure
Linking words help flow in some parts
content
Some good ideas on how local use can help env
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