IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the first car appeared on british roads in 1877. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car owership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over the
last
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 century, the number of
cars
Use synonyms
 on British roads has increased dramatically. It is predicted that by the year 2000, there may be as many as 29 million
vehicles
Use synonyms
 in the United Kingdom. It is a widely discussed topic around the world. Some
people
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 believe that alternative forms of
transport
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged and international
laws
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 introduced to control car ownership and use. I strongly agree with the given statement. On the one hand, there are several reasons why alternative transportation should be promoted.
Firstly
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, too many
cars
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 cause detrimental
ramification
Fix the agreement mistake
ramifications
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 on the environment. Because
vehicles
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 produce air contamination and global warming, which can destroy the natural world and have a terrible impact on human health.
However
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, encouraging
people
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 to use public
transport
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, bicycles, or electric
vehicles
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 could reduce
pullation
Correct your spelling
pollution
 levels.
Secondly
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, traffic congestion is a major issue in many cities
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 Britain and other countries. If more
people
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 used buses or trains
instead
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 of private
cars
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, roads would be less
crowded
Correct word choice
busy
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, and travel time would decrease.
On the other hand
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, introducing international
laws
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 to control car usage could help create a more sustainable future.
For example
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, the government should impose higher taxes on fuel prices, and set the
limit
Check wording
number
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 of
vehicles
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 for
one
Correct determiner usage
each
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 household. These
laws
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 must be fair and practical because many individuals rely on
cars
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 for work and family responsibilities.
In addition
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, in rural
areas
Punctuation problem
areas,
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 the public
transport
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 is often limited, making
cars
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 essential.
Therefore
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, the states should improve the public
transport
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 system before strictly controlling car ownership. In conclusion, I believe alternative
transport
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 should be strongly encouraged, on the grounds that it helps to protect the environment from dangerous contamination. Governments should introduce reasonable
laws
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 to control the excessive use of
cars
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.
However
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, these measures must be balanced to avoid creating difficulties for
people
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 who depend on their
vehicles
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.

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task response
In your task response, state a clear view at once and keep it in the opening. Then give focused reasons and link them to the view. Make sure each main idea is well explained and tied to the task.
task response
Some ideas are not fully built. Add more clear explanation and stronger links to the prompt. Use simple, concrete examples that are easy to verify and explain clearly.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence, use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and keep to one main idea per paragraph. Use linking words to show how ideas connect.
coherence and cohesion
Improve flow by arranging ideas in a smooth order. Check pronoun use and spelling so sentences are easy to read.
strength
Clear stance on the issue is stated.
strength
Introduction and conclusion frame the essay well.
strength
Some good links and examples are used (tax on fuel, rural transport).
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