IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

It is widely believed that many
sports
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 are very risky
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 still want to try
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. From my perspective, I think
people
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 want to explore their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 by trying more
sports
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 and
overcome
Wrong verb form
overcoming
show examples
 their
fear
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fears
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reasons followed by some
strageties
Correct your spelling
strategies
 to play safely.
To begin
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 with,
people
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attracted
Verb problem
are attracted
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 towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dangerous
sports
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because of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the following reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 feel like their social status will rise if they participate in high-risk games. They think, if they upload a dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
 video on social media, they will get fame more easily.
Secondly
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,
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 want to try different
sports
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 just to relieve stress, fear, and so on.
For instance
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, as reported in the TNC newspaper,
people
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 enrolling in dangerous
sports
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 improve their lives by just interacting with different
communties
Correct your spelling
communities
.
Also
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, they feel more proud after fully
perform
Wrong verb form
performing
show examples
 the task. There should be proper measures taken before performing any game.
Use synonyms
Person
Correct article usage
A person
show examples
 should be supervised by a fully trained trainer.
Moreover
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, the government should open more training
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 to educate
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 to perform a task.
Along with
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this
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, there must be
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
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 age limit set in order to perform a sport.
For example
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, a video on
instagram
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Instagram
show examples
 depicts
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 Ram
had
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a serious injury
while
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perform
Wrong verb form
performing
show examples
 rock climbing
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 he was not with the
supervisior
Correct your spelling
supervisor
.
Furthermore
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, these issues can be minimised by giving proper training and telling
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 about the risks involved.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I would say trying high-risk
sports
Use synonyms
 can make
Use synonyms
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 feel proud, overcome their fear,
get
Correct word choice
and get
show examples
 a chance to interact with other
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
. By trying these
sports
Use synonyms
person
Use synonyms
 can get a chance to know about
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 more. But there must be proper safety standards followed
while
Linking Words
 performing any sport to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
injury
Fix the agreement mistake
injuries
show examples
.

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planning
Use a clear plan before you write. State your main idea in one sentence at the start and keep it in every paragraph.
grammar
Fix common errors like 'most of people' -> 'most people', 'strageties' -> 'strategies', and 'becuase' -> 'because'.
evidence
Do not rely on vague sources. If you mention examples, make them simple and real; or say 'a study shows' without a brand name.
cohesion
Link ideas with small words: 'First', 'Then', 'Also', 'However', 'Finally' to keep a smooth flow.
structure
Make one clear introduction and one clear conclusion. Do not add new ideas in the last paragraph.
content
Expand safety ideas with real steps: training, gear, medical check, age rule, emergency plan.
topic
The topic is clear and you take a position.
structure
There is a plan to give reasons and then ways to be safe.
content
You touch on social and stress reasons and give safety ideas.
evidence
There are attempts to use examples to support points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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