IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
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 argue that modern communication
gadgets
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 are influencing social
relationships
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 negatively, but there are
also
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 those who do not agree.
While
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 there are reasonable ideas to support the contrary, I am of the view that these technologies can lead to bad results in social interaction . First and foremost, using modern
gadgets
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 in social interaction is adversely affecting
people
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’s mental
health
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 .That’s to say, nowadays more Gen Z tend to stress, anxiety and depression because of using phones constantly in their
relationships
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. Modern
gadgets
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 allow us to text message round-the-clock, and it leads to problematic disease, especially think about couples get the chance.
For instance
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, spontaneously thinking about something can
cause
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 mental
health
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 problems like increased blood pressure and early ageing problems. That’s why many
people
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 struggle with
health
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 problems in their
relationships
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. Another valid reason to support my position is that using cutting-edge technologies can result in polarisation of attitudes between men and women. Dating apps are part of the features of digital
gadgets
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, so
that is
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 a
cause
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 for a split in attitudes among couples on topics like the value of feminism or the ideal of healthy masculinity.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
show examples
 watching materialistic content from digital tools can directly influence
people
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 to disappoint each other, and
that is
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 a
cause
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 of divorce on the first date.So that modern technology can
cause
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 to negative effect on social
relationships
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. In conclusion, modern tools affect
people
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 not only in their mental
health
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 but
also
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 worsen social interactions among
people
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 .
Thus
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, in my opinion, using digital tools in
relationships
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 can exacerbate the communication patterns in modern life.

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planning
Plan what you want to say first. Make a short plan with 1 view, 2 main ideas, and a simple ending.
structure
Each paragraph should have one main idea. Start with a clear topic sentence and stick to it.
content
Use one idea per paragraph and add examples that fit that idea. Avoid mixing ideas in one paragraph.
language
Check word choice and keep language simple. Fix grammar errors that hide meaning.
strength
The essay shows a clear view that tech can affect social life.
strength
Some examples are used, like Gen Z mental health and dating apps.
strength
There are connectors such as First and In conclusion to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interactions
  • messaging apps
  • social media
  • non-verbal cues
  • family bonds
  • dependency
  • digital communication
  • superficial relationships
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • social isolation
  • virtual connections
  • emotional satisfaction
  • real-life interactions
  • technological intrusion
What to do next:
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