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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that the Internet has positive points, while others say it has negative effects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, there is a debate among individuals the network is beneficial for us, but some think that it is harmful for them. It can be seen that the
internet
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 has more advantages than drawbacks.
This
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 essay will examine both viewpoints of
people
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 , and my opinion is final.
Firstly
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, technology has become a part of over whole life. No one in
this
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 world can refuse the supremacy of the
internet
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.
Moreover
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, the
internet
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 assists folks in many
part
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parts
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 of their lives.
For instance
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, it provides
people
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 a handsome online source of income
as well as
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 makes them financially independent ,
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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to support
Verb problem
supports
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 their families financially.
Additionally
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,
due to
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 the
internet
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world
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apply
show examples
has become a global village. It provides us a convenient way of communication with each other from a far distance.
On the other hand
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, it
also
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 has some drawbacks
as well
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apply
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because in today's era,
people
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use
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 it more than they need. If we consume one thing from it actual need
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
becomes dangerous for us because access to everything is bad.
For example
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, nowadays, watching reels has become a trend in our society and
due to
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 watching reels , it affects our mental health
as well as
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 disturbs the power of concentration.
Likewise
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, by consuming these short videos and spending more and more time on them, it
also
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 affects our eyes . From my perspective,
due to
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 the
internet
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 ,
people
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 are becoming more independent from jobs compared to the past. In past,
people
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havehad ahuge
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have had a huge
 competition and very less opportunities to grow themself. Nowadays, the global network not just solves
this
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 issue but
also
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 provides them a range of opportunities to earn finance without any competition.
To sum up
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, everything that has been stated so far,
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 has a lot of
prons
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pros
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 and cons. It
depend
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depends
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 on us
that
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apply
show examples
how we
use
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Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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, if we
use
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 it in a limit from it actual
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
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, it will
definently
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definitely
 harm
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
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. We should
use
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 it in a limit.

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task response
Plan your essay with a clear view. Use a short intro, two main ideas for each side, and a clear final line.
coherence
Put ideas in a clear order. Use linking words like first, also, but, then to guide the reader.
task
Give a clear example for each point and say why it shows the point.
language
Check words and form to avoid wrong meaning and grammar errors.
structure
The essay tries to show both views.
conclusion
It ends with a closing line.
content
It has real examples such as income and reels.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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