People want to change the way they look through cosmetic surgery, nowadays. Is it a positive or negative development,? give your opinion and share your knowledge and experience

In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
days people look
through
Change preposition
for
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cosmetic surgery to change
more
Use the right word
for
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better
Correct article usage
the better
show examples
.I think every body want to be better than his or her imagination that's why they want beauty in technological area I know it is norm progress
although
Linking Words
cosmetic surgery has bad positions I heard some people has bad affect for these ,in fact the beauty of human must be his or her heart If you see beauty you look up heart
To sum up
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I strongly disagree with
this
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opinion

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structure
Begin with a clear answer in one line. Then give 2–3 reasons and a short example for each.
coherence
Link ideas with small words like first, also, but, so, for this reason.
planning
Use a simple plan: intro, 2 body paragraphs, conclusion.
grammar
Fix grammar: plural s, verb form, word order.
content
The author shows a view and tries to talk about inner beauty.
insight
There is some care for idea of mind over looks.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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