IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.Summarize the information be selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph demonstrates the numbers of births and deaths in the New Zealand population from 1901 to 2101.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
rates
Use synonyms
 of births from 1901 to approximately 2041 surpassed the death
rates
Use synonyms
 in New Zealand.
However
Linking Words
, in the following years, the opposite happened, where the birth
rates
Use synonyms
 declined, and the death
rates
Use synonyms
 increased.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, from 1901 to roughly 1961, the birth
rates
Use synonyms
 fluctuated,
following
Replace the word
followed
show examples
that
Change preposition
by
show examples
 it reached to it maximum
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 where it reached around 65,000s.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, it began to decline.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the death
rates
Use synonyms
 in the UK
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
steadly
Correct your spelling
steadily
 increasing,
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 it overtook the birth
rates
Use synonyms
 from 2041 to 2101.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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