IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart gives infornamtion about the number of car journeys into the city centre made by residents and non-residents.

The bar graph provided illustrates data regarding the figure for journeys using cars into the city centre between
residents
Use synonyms
 and non-
residents
Use synonyms
 from 1996 to
2005
Punctuation problem
2005,
show examples
 with the reasons for the
less
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
 usage of cars for city travel.
Overall
Linking Words
, it shows a downward trend
both
Change preposition
for both
show examples
residents
Use synonyms
 and non-
residents
Use synonyms
 over the given period. Meanwhile,
residents
Use synonyms
 showed a significant decrease throughout the given period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, both of their figures had fluctuations
cross
Use the right word
across
show examples
 the entire
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
period. Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that
residents
Use synonyms
' travel using their cars reached a peak of 10000 in 1996
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it had a slow fall until 1999.
However
Linking Words
,
residents
Use synonyms
'
journey
Fix the agreement mistake
journeys
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 plummeted by 4500 in 2000, because parking meters
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 installed in
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 centre.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the figure for non-
residents
Use synonyms
 represented a gradual increase from 1996 and stood
out
Change preposition
at
show examples
 1999.
Then
Linking Words
, it had a fluctuation, ranging from 7800 to 8000 between 1999 and 2002.
However
Linking Words
, it dropped considerably by 5000 in 2003
due to
Linking Words
 the closure of
westgate street
Fix capitalization
Westgate Street
show examples
 and
park land
Use the right word
Parkland
show examples
 to traffic.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words residents with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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