IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that some subjects taught in school are a waste of time, while others disagree and believe that everything studied in school is useful for students. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is considerable disagreement over whether a wide range of courses benefits
students
Use synonyms
 or wastes their time
From
Punctuation problem
. From
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 my perspective, my own point of
view
Punctuation problem
view,
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 is that the
student
Check wording
school
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 will be beneficial
from
Change preposition
for
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 wide range curriculum in school Admittedly
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that taking too many
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 would place pressure on student , which
resulted
Wrong verb form
results
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 in less time being spent on their major
subjects
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This
Linking Words
 problem is especially serious for
students
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 who plan to
specialize
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specialise
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 in music.
For example
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, piano
students
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 need to practice for at least six hours every day in order to improve their skills. If they are required to study many additional
subjects
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, their practice time will be limited, which may slow their progress .
However
Linking Words
, offering different
subjects
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 at school
also
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 has clear benefits. One important advantage is that
students
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 can discover what they are truly interested in and what they are good at by learning a variety of
subjects
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,
Punctuation problem
.
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 Based on
this
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, teachers can give more
suitable
Replace the word
useful
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 advice and provide more effective teaching to help
students
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 choose a reasonable direction for their future study and career.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the age of AI,
The
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the
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 widespread use of AI has brought great uncertainty to the future job markets. Learning different
subjects
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 can help
students
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 enrich their knowledge base and improve their ability to adapt to change and remain competitive. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 studying many courses may cause some problems to
students
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yet
Rephrase
apply
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，I am still convinced that a wide school
curriculums
Fix the agreement mistake
curriculum
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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overall
Linking Words
 beneficial. It helps
students
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 set clear and appropriate development
goal
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goals
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 and equips them with
breadth
Correct article usage
the breadth
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 of knowledge and adaptability needed in the future

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Task response
Plan the essay. Start with a clear sentence that shows your view. Then write 2 or 3 points for each side with small examples. End with a short restatement of your view.
Coherence and cohesion
Make the flow smooth. Use linking words to show how ideas go from one to the next. Put each main idea in its own paragraph.
Grammatical range and accuracy
Try to use the same simple words. Some phrases are hard to read. Check grammar each sentence. Use period to close ideas.
Lexical resource
Use one clear example for each idea. Explain how it supports your point. Avoid long run on lines.
Task response
The plan shows two side views and your own view in the end.
Coherence
There is a real example about music work time to show a point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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