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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources, while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There is an ongoing debate regarding
space
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exploration
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.
While
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 some argue that
this
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 action leads to wasting resources, others claim that it is imperative to continue to conduct research on the
universe
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 in which we live.
However
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, I believe that
space
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exploration
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 not only provides unique opportunities to deepen our knowledge concerning the
universe
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 but
also
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 contributes to discovering new things about it, which can affect people's lives. Groups of people who
criticize
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criticise
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space
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exploration
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 cite that there are more vital matters considerably impacting individuals' lives,
such
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 as climate change, financial strains, and a scarcity of fresh water.
Therefore
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, it would be better to focus on
such
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 challenges.
For example
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, currently, climate change has led to an increase
the
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in the
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 Earth’s temperature, resulting in a cycle of detrimental phenomena, including melting ice at the poles and reducing the amount of fresh water in the world.
Thus
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, over-focusing on
space
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exploration
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 can distract attention from more important matters, which are more vital to resolve.
On the other hand
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, some think that conducting research into
space
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 can help scientists
to
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apply
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broaden their knowledge about the
universe
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 and gain access to a wide range of information. These features can offer remarkable opportunities for advancements in various fields, including communication and transportation.
For instance
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, the invention of satellites
as a result
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 of
space
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exploration
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 has allowed people to interact with each other and watch a wide spectrum of TV channels, which is truly worthwhile.
Hence
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,
such
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 features of exploring
space
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 would bring significant advantages, meeting the demands of modern life. In conclusion,
although
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 some believe that exploring
space
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 is a waste of money
due to
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 other crucial matters
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such
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, such
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 as climate change and a lack of fresh water, others claim that it is essential since it can deepen scientists' understanding
regarding
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of
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 the
universe
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.
Nonetheless
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, from my vantage point, the
exploration
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 of
space
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 would lead to a wave of achievements
,
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apply
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 which
greatly
Verb problem
would greatly
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 contribute to enhancing the quality of life and resolving challenges
such
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 as air pollution.

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structure
Use clear and short lines. Let ideas move from one to the next with simple joins like and, but, so, then to link ideas.
examples
Give more clear and strong examples that fit each idea. This makes your point more real.
grammar
Check your grammar and small slips. Fix phrases like has led to an increase the Earth's temperature and make full sentences.
planning
Keep a plan. One idea in each part, a short intro and a short finish that rest your view.
content
The essay shows a clear view and tries to talk about both sides.
style
The idea is easy to read because you use simple words.
content
You give real ideas like climate change and the use of satellites.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • astronomical costs
  • earthbound issues
  • tangible benefits
  • technological spin-offs
  • innovation
  • long-term investment
  • habitability
  • interplanetary travel
  • sustainable exploration
  • spacefaring nations
  • international collaboration
  • deep space
  • the final frontier
  • cosmic perspective
  • frontiers of science
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