IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010

The given table illustrates household
utilities
Fix the agreement mistake
utility
show examples
 expenses in two distinct countries
namely
Punctuation problem
, namely
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 Japan and Malaysia
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 the year 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Japanese people were superior in
spend
Replace the word
spending
show examples
 money
other
Change preposition
on other
show examples
 goods and services, health care and transport sectors;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, Malaysia prevailed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
food
Correct article usage
the food
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 and housing
category
Fix the agreement mistake
categories
show examples
. In looking in detail
other
Punctuation problem
, other
show examples
 goods and services
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the highest indicator in Japan
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 accounted for 29%
,
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
in addition
Linking Words
 food category took second position with 24%,
while
Linking Words
 housing made up 21% and had
minor
Correct article usage
a minor
show examples
 difference with
transport
Correct article usage
the transport
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 sector
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 peaked
in
Change preposition
at
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 20%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the least common was observed health care section. In terms of
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 Malaysian people used up most money on
Housing
Correct article usage
the Housing
show examples
 section
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 stood at 34%,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 category with 27%
,
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
in addition
Linking Words
other
Punctuation problem
, other
show examples
 goods and services comprised 26%,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 percentage reached 10% in transport,
although
Linking Words
 the lowest ratio was considered on health care with 3%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household expenditures
  • proportion
  • cultural differences
  • economic differences
  • living standards
  • real estate market
  • public transportation
  • private transportation
  • infrastructure
  • government healthcare policies
  • quality of life
  • holistic view
  • inflation
  • economic growth
  • societal norms
  • globalization
  • communication expenses
  • education expenses
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