IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often argued that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should pay for
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
Use synonyms
system
Punctuation problem
system,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 others believe that drivers should pay
the
Change preposition
for it
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own opinion. On the one hand , some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
government
Use synonyms
 authorities need to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on
road
Use synonyms
 infrastructure. The main reason for
this
Linking Words
 is
because
Correct word choice
that
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 every citizen in the country pays
taxes
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 for living, and these
taxes
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 are needed to spend on citizens.
As a result
Linking Words
a
Punctuation problem
,
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 it is the duty of higher officials to spend
money
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 on the
road
Use synonyms
system
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 so that both citizens and the
government
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 get benefits from it.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
only
Correct word order
people are not the only
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people
Use synonyms
 are not the ones
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 use roads to travel
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
government
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persons
Check wording
officials
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also
Linking Words
 use the same roads to travel
Correct pronoun usage
, which
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that is
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major reason for the
government
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 to pay
the
Change preposition
for
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 and make
road
Use synonyms
 systems
perfect
Verb problem
and make them perfect
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, others argue that drivers should pay extra
money
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
system
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because not everyone owns
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
car
Punctuation problem
car,
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 so why should they pay the
taxes
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 for
road
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 infrastructure
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
This
Linking Words
 rule applies
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 those who own
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 car
they
Punctuation problem
; they
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 need to pay the
amount
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. As
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as a result
Linking Words
,
people
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are
middle class
Correct your spelling
middle-class
,
travels
Correct subject-verb agreement
travel
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 rarely or use public transport should not get more burden on them for paying
extra
Correct article usage
an extra
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
system
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I personally believe that the
government
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 should separate the
Use synonyms
taxes
Check wording
tax
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 for every citizen's basic need like the
road
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system
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, which will benefit both the
government
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 and
people
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 living in a country. In conclusion , the second view about drivers
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 the
amount
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 is good
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 from my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
 I will always choose
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 taking the responsibility by using tax rather than putting more burden on the citizens.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about both views, but each side needs a bit more clear detail.
task response
Give one clear opinion and keep it the same in the whole essay.
task response
Use one or two simple real examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make your sentences shorter and clearer so your ideas are easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Check grammar in linking sentences because some parts are hard to understand.
task response
You discuss both views and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like however, furthermore, and therefore.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • equitable access
  • public service
  • comprehensive planning
  • financial burden
  • user-pay principle
  • traffic congestion
  • encourage sustainable transportation
  • fair distribution of costs
  • direct benefit
  • road taxes
  • tolls
  • revenue
What to do next:
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