IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people might argue that saving endangered animal
species
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,
such
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 as the tiger or the blue whale, is a waste of money. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both perspectives of
this
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 argument and explain why
i
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I
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 strongly disagree with it. There is no doubt that some of us humans are living a miserable life, but
instead
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 of spending our cash to improve the quality of human lives, we use it for the benefit of
animals
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. The proponents of
this
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 argument say that since these
animals
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 would kill a human without a second thought for the sake of their survival, there is no reason to give up our benefits to save them. They might
also
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 argue that the endangered
species
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 are seeing a decrease in population for a reason,
nature
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 is doing its job and replacing old
animals
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 with new ones.
Therefore
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, we shouldn't spend money saving
animals
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 when our own kind is suffering.
However
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, I strongly disagree, I think we should have saving endangered
species
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 as our top priority. Wild
animals
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 are just as important in
nature
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 as we are, and putting them below humans is an incredibly selfish act.
Furthermore
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, I would argue that wild
animals
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 add so much to
nature
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's beauty
and
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, and
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 not saving them would be the same as letting go of a core part of
nature
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. And the things I just mentioned are why we should absolutely prioritise protecting
animals
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 with a scarce population. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with the argument that saving endangered
species
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 is wasting money.

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content
Your view is clear. Add one or two real facts or simple examples to back your point.
coherence
Use more words to link ideas so the piece flows well from one idea to the next.
grammar
Fix small grammar: capital I, commas, and plural forms so you are easy to read.
thesis
The writer shows a clear stand on the topic.
structure
There are good links like However and In conclusion.
style
The writing is short and direct, which makes the point easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • intrinsic value
  • existential threat
  • ecosystem
  • conservation
  • economic benefits
  • funding allocation
  • competing needs
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