Some people think that competition at work and school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In recent decades, there has been an ongoing debate about whether competing with each other in different parts of life,
such
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as at the office or university, is beneficial.
While
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a part of people
advocates
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advocate
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that moving as a group is more advantageous in coping with life, others justify competing in order to gain individual advantages. Even though a vast
amount
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number
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of researchers insist that cooperation within a group is a source of strength, from my perspective, racing against others offers various benefits,
such
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as higher efficiency and a sense of satisfaction. At first glance, one can infer that competitiveness increases efficiency. Motivation is a remarkable feeling and can be considered
as
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apply
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the fuel of human beings.
Thus
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, high motivation triggers high efficiency. Being in a race in different parts of life motivates us to win, which in turn triggers relevant emotions.
In addition
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, these feelings awaken our ancient instincts, empowering us to reveal the best version of ourselves.
As a consequence
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,
overall
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work output increases.
Moreover
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, the feeling of being rewarded makes us happy
at the end
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of a game that has been won. During competition, the body secretes adrenaline, which makes us feel more powerful. If the results are satisfactory
at the end
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of the day, these secretions turn into dopamine, which can be portrayed as a “happiness potion.”
In other words
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, the body rewards itself when it achieves positive outcomes. Ultimately,
although
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some scientists argue that dealing with difficult situations is easier when people cooperate and help one another, in my opinion, being a lone wolf and competing with others is inevitably beneficial for various reasons.

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improvement
Show both sides well. Say what the other view is and why.
structure
Finish with a clear view of your own idea.
content
Add real, small example from work or school.
organization
Make sure ideas link one to the next in a smooth flow.
language
Check word and grammar use, and keep phrasing simple.
content
The idea that competition can push people to work hard and feel a gain.
structure
The opening is clear and shows the topic well.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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