IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that children should spend more time studying at school than playing sports. Do you agree or disagree?

Few individuals believe that students should devote more time to academic studies rather than spending it on sports.I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea as education leads to future success and aids in the development of essential life
skills
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, education helps individuals in developing successful careers. Children who focus on their studies are admitted to top universities, which helps them secure lucrative jobs.
For example
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, numerous Harvard graduates are serving in prestigious positions at renowned organisations around the world,
while
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 sports offer limited opportunities to only a few.
Secondly
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, it is considered a very competitive profession, where only the most exceptional players are selected for the team, which makes it an unreliable career. After that, giving more time to coursework fosters the development of mandatory
skills
Use synonyms
 that prove beneficial in both personal and professional life. Academic pursuits nurture
skills
Use synonyms
such
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 as communication, problem-solving, and creative thinking.
Moreover
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, additional
skills
Use synonyms
such
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 as teamwork and discipline are learnt through group activities, discussions, and project work.
Therefore
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, education provides a more reliable and solid foundation for a learner’s
overall
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 growth and development. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 sports have certain benefits, I strongly believe that children should spend more time learning in school. Academic coursework ensures better career prospects and equips them with quintessential
skills
Use synonyms
 like communication and teamwork.

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structure
Use a clear plan in the intro and in each paragraph. Start with the point you will make.
structure
Every paragraph should have a topic sentence that shows the idea you want to state.
language
Choose direct and easy words. Keep sentences short to avoid mistakes.
content
Examples should be clear and fit the point. Explain how the example helps your argument.
language
Check grammar and punctuation, and make some sentences shorter to be safe.
content
You make your view clear and you say you agree with more study.
structure
You use a plan with 'Firstly', 'Secondly' and 'Conclusion', which helps flow.
structure
The essay has a real start and end, with a simple flow.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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