IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Governments should spend more money on public transport rather than building new roads. What is your opinion?

It is often argued that which field
needs
Correct pronoun usage
that needs
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
`s budget. Some claim that public transportation systems should take the first place in terms of getting income from the
government
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of road renovations.
While
Linking Words
 the state should give their attention to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 the system of public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
, I firmly believe that the quality of roads can enhance traffic and
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 more care.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
busses
Use the right word
buses
show examples
 and trains are the most common means of transportation among citizens. For that reason, if the
government
Use synonyms
 develops them, life satisfaction among those people can be increased.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is the responsibility of the
government
Use synonyms
 to take care of public services. The more they pay for
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
, the
life
Correct word order
more convenient life
show examples
 in cities will be
more convenient
Correct word order
apply
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it would be beneficial to invest in
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 transport system.
However
Linking Words
, highways are more critical to enhance drivers` experience and reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their destination so that they should be expanded or widened.
This
Linking Words
 process needs
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
investment from the
government
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the public transportation is not free for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public use, which means that they can
recover themselves
Verb problem
make a living
show examples
though
Use the right word
through
show examples
 daily income from passengers. For those reasons, the road improvement should be taken into consideration. Personally, both of them are critically important
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
, in my opinion, should strike a balance between the investment for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 and roads. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
busses
Use the right word
buses
show examples
 and trains are in
need
Check wording
demand
show examples
 among
passengers
Punctuation problem
passengers,
show examples
 so need more budget from the authority
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I strongly support
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 idea that the governments should give their thoughts to the main roads financially.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
State a clear opinion in the intro and keep it strong through the essay.
coherence
Use linking words to show shift and order (for example however, in addition).
grammar
Fix grammar errors and use simple, correct words.
content
Give one or two clear examples to back your point.
structure
There is an intro, body and conclusion.
ideas
Both sides are talked about and there is a final view.
logic
The idea of balance is shown.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: