IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Your child is going on a trip to another country for 3 days. School is looking for some parents who can join the trip and you decided to apply for the same. You are interested in going with trip. Write a letter to the head of the school and include: – Why you want to join the team – What you can do to assist – Queries related to the trip.

Dear Principal, I am writing to apply for the position of parent volunteer for the upcoming three-day trip abroad. I understand that the school is seeking parents to accompany the
students
Use synonyms
, and I would be very pleased to assist. I am particularly interested in joining the trip because I believe international visits provide
students
Use synonyms
 with valuable learning experiences beyond the classroom. Exposure to a different culture helps them develop independence, confidence, and social responsibility. As a parent, I
also
Linking Words
 recognise the importance of ensuring that
students
Use synonyms
 feel safe and supported
while
Linking Words
 travelling. In terms of assistance, I would be happy to supervise small groups of
students
Use synonyms
, conduct regular headcounts, and support teachers during organised activities and excursions. I am responsible, patient, and accustomed to working with young people.
In addition
Linking Words
, I can provide basic first aid if necessary and help maintain communication between staff and parents during the trip. Could you please provide
further
Linking Words
 information about the travel schedule, accommodation arrangements, and the specific responsibilities assigned to parent volunteers? I would
also
Linking Words
 like to know whether there will be a briefing session or any required documentation prior to departure. Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to your response. Yours sincerely, BURII

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task response
The letter answers all parts: why you want to join, what you can do, and what you would like to know. It would be even stronger with a brief closing line that asks for a reply.
coherence and cohesion
The writing is clear and polite. For cohesion, try to keep one main idea in each paragraph and use simple link words to move from one idea to the next.
task response
Clear reason to join the trip and a plan of help.
greeting and closing
Formal tone and proper closing included.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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