IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that learning a foreign language should be optional for students, while others argue that it should be mandatory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often debated whether learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 should be compulsory in schools.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that it should remain optional, I firmly believe that it should be mandatory
due to
Linking Words
 its significant impact on cognitive development and future career prospects. Some people argue that learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 should be optional, believing that it may place unnecessary pressure on
students
Use synonyms
 and limit their focus on other important subjects.
This
Linking Words
 stems from the fact that not all
students
Use synonyms
 are naturally inclined towards languages, and forcing them to learn may lead to stress or reduced motivation.Should
such
Linking Words
 pressure occur,
students
Use synonyms
 may develop negative attitudes towards learning or struggle to perform well in other areas of study.
For instance
Linking Words
, in many schools,
students
Use synonyms
 already face heavy workloads, and adding mandatory
language
Use synonyms
 classes can exacerbate their stress levels.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 highlights why some people believe that
language
Use synonyms
 learning should be left to
students
Use synonyms
’ own preferences.
However
Linking Words
, a key advantage of compulsory
language
Use synonyms
 learning is that it significantly enhances cognitive skills and intellectual development.
This
Linking Words
 is largely because mastering a new
language
Use synonyms
 stimulates mental flexibility, improves memory, and encourages analytical thinking. Should
students
Use synonyms
 acquire these skills, they are better equipped to handle complex tasks and make informed decisions both academically and in daily life.
For example
Linking Words
, multilingual
students
Use synonyms
 often outperform their monolingual peers in problem-solving and creative thinking exercises.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 clearly demonstrates that mandatory
language
Use synonyms
 education provides substantial long-term benefits for
students
Use synonyms
’ intellectual growth. In conclusion, having considered both perspectives, I firmly believe that learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 should be compulsory, as its long-term benefits in cognitive development and future employability clearly outweigh any potential drawbacks.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Add more crisp links between ideas and show clear steps to each point.
content
Use 2-3 more examples from school life to back each reason.
language
Keep sentences short and clear to aid flow.
task response
Clear position and strong view that language learning should be mandatory.
structure
Well built intro, body and conclusion.
coherence
Good use of linking phrases in places.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: