IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The number of refugees and immigrants is increasing. what are the possible causes and effects of this? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In my opinion, the answer is obvious. The biggest
reason
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 for the increase in the number of refugees and immigrants is
wars
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. Nowadays, so many
people
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 become soldiers
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 because of
wars
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. The Supreme Council can send men from different families without their opinion, because in
documents
Punctuation problem
documents,
show examples
 they have a status: conscript. If they have
this
Linking Words
 status, that means that
people
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 from the military office have a
reason
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 to send them to the army. Actually, they can find a solution to prevent
this
Linking Words
 kind of future. Men or women can escape from their actual countries, and move to other lands, start a new life and start living happily without any
wars
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 or conflicts. These
people
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 are usually called refugees. They can move somewhere until they become 18 years old, because after 18, they won’t have a chance to escape from the military office. Of course, they have an alternate variant to stay in their land and don’t worry about status. They can afford a special ticket that makes conscripts not one of those.
Also
Linking Words
, there are
people
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 who are called immigrants. Imp think that they can leave their countries not only through the
wars
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. The most popular
reason
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 is education in universities and colleges, which are in different territories. I mean that they could leave for other reasons , like studying or seeking a new job , which they just can’t do in the motherland . Personally, I used to live in Ukraine, so the main
reason
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 for moving was war, and teens have been sent to other nations with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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higher priorities. As I was saying,
people
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 have different reasons to move.

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structure
Plan your essay. Start with a short intro, then two body parts for causes and effects, and finish with a short ending.
content
State clear main points and give 2-3 reasons with simple examples.
language
Use linking words to show order and idea moves, such as firstly, also, and finally.
content
The essay shows you know some causes like war and the idea of education.
content
There are personal examples that you can use to back up ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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