Wild nature nowadays needs conservation. To which extend do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that wild nature is under constant threat.
This
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leads many people to argue that conservation is now an absolute necessity.
While
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some believe that human needs should come
first,
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others argue that protecting the natural environment is much more important for our long-term survival. On the one hand, a growing global population definitely needs more space for housing and farming.
For example
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, clearing forests can create immediate jobs, provide cheaper building materials, and help produce more food for local communities.
Also
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, using
this
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land for agriculture can help a local economy grow by providing extra work opportunities for people and attracting new investors to the area. Many feel that these economic benefits are the fastest way to improve the living standards of a country.
On the other hand
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, there are many essential benefits to protecting nature that we cannot ignore. One key point is that healthy ecosystems make the places where we live much more suitable and safe.
This
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is because trees absorb carbon dioxide, which helps to prevent the negative effects of global warming, and they increase humidity where it is necessary for the weather.
Furthermore
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, wild spaces protect the clean water and air that we all need to stay healthy. Without these natural systems, our own lives would eventually become much harder. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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while
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development helps the economy grow quickly, the big problem is the long-term damage it does to the planet. After looking at both sides, I personally believe that protecting nature is more important than development.
This
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is because we fundamentally need a healthy environment for our own future and for the next generation.

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coherence
Use more clear topic sentences to show what each paragraph is about.
content
Give more exact examples or data to back up points.
structure
Make your view very clear in the first paragraph and restate it in the end.
language
Some long sentences can be hard to read; split them.
stance
The writer states a clear view in favour of protecting nature.
coherence
Good links show how ideas compare (on the one hand, on the other hand).
structure
There are ideas for both sides before the final decision.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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