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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

In recent years,
popularity
Correct article usage
the popularity
show examples
 of
driverless
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 increased significantly. Many individuals believe that, in
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 all cars will be
computer driven
Use the right word
computer-driven
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Check wording
apply
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and passengers will be
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 travelling inside these vehicles.
This
Linking Words
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
 will explain why I believe its advantages outweigh disadvantages with
logical
Correct article usage
a logical
show examples
 explanation. One of the concerning
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 about
driver less
Use the right word
driverless
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 is
Correct word choice
that it
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 might not be able to make a
decision perfect
Correct word order
perfect decision
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 in critical
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
.
Beacuse
Correct your spelling
Because
, in
such
Linking Words
 a challenging situation
computerized
Change the spelling
computerised
show examples
 vehicle won't be able to
take
Use the right word
make
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 any decision,
out
Change preposition
outside
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 of
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 program.
This
Linking Words
 is why some
people
Use synonyms
 would doubt
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 safety.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these vehicles are very expensive
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it would be very challenging for
middle class
Use the right word
middle-class
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to afford and
maintenance
Replace the word
maintain
show examples
 these cars Apart from its drawbacks, there are several reasons why it could be beneficial for all of us.
Initially
Linking Words
,
automated
Correct article usage
an automated
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 could reduce our traffic problem significantly. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 automated cars
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
must follow every traffic
role
Use the right word
rule
show examples
 and law strictly. We often see many
people
Use synonyms
 do over speeding and
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, sometime
show examples
sometime
Fix the agreement mistake
sometimes
show examples
 many
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
 by which road safety are getting questioned
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 so applying
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
computer programmed
Use the right word
computer-programmed
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 vehicles
road
Punctuation problem
, road
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 safety can be achieved.
In addition
Linking Words
,
driverless
Use synonyms
would
Check wording
cars would
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 be a blessing for
disable
Replace the word
disabled
show examples
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 can drive
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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, those
people
Use synonyms
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 need
anyone
Check wording
someone
show examples
 to drive for them
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
by
Change preposition
With
show examples
driverless
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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they
Punctuation problem
, they
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 will be able to travel independently wherever they want without
need
Correct article usage
the need
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of
Change preposition
for
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anyone
Check wording
anyone's
show examples
 help. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
driverless
Correct article usage
a driverless
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car
Use synonyms
 has some drawbacks.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 I believe
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 benefits
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
disadvantages
Correct pronoun usage
its disadvantages
show examples
.

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planning
Plan your essay first. In each paragraph, say one main idea and then add one or two facts.
examples
Give concrete examples. Small facts or real life cases help your point.
language
Check the language. Use short, clear sentences; fix common mistakes like 'it's' vs 'its' and miss built words.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like 'and', 'but', 'however', 'also' so your text flows better.
content
Also show both sides. Mention a bad point and how it could be less in future.
content
You give a clear view that driverless cars can help with traffic and for disabled people.
strength
The essay shows you have some real knowledge of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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