IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Smokers have rights too, so they should be allowed to smoke in public places. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

People who
smoke
Use synonyms
 have rights too. Individuals who
smoke
Use synonyms
 should be
permited
Correct your spelling
permitted
 to
smoke
Use synonyms
 in public areas. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because second-hand
smoking
Replace the word
smoke
show examples
provoke
Correct subject-verb agreement
provokes
show examples
 lung diseases, and it is a bad influence for young people. One reason why I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement is that second-hand
smoking
Replace the word
smoke
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
suffer
Replace the word
suffering
show examples
 from lung
dieases
Correct your spelling
diseases
, so individuals who do not
smoke
Use synonyms
 have the right to
mantain
Correct your spelling
maintain
 their health too.
First,
Linking Words
any lung issues tend to become
chonic
Correct your spelling
chronic
 disease, so
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 who are affected by second-hand
smoke
Use synonyms
 tend to suffer from coughing the rest of their lives.
For instance
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 the USA
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
35 million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Americans were reported suffering from chronic diseases
due to
Linking Words
 second-hand
smoke
Use synonyms
,
according to
Linking Words
New
Correct article usage
the New
show examples
 York Times newspaper. Another reason why I totally go against
this
Linking Words
 statement is that it is a bad influence for young people because smokers
normalize
Change the spelling
normalise
show examples
this
Linking Words
 practice, so teens do not see smoking as a threatening bad
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
.
Also
Linking Words
, knowing that adults are
allow
Wrong verb form
allowed
show examples
 to
smoke
Use synonyms
 in public places, they believe that smoking is not a bad practice for their health. More importantly, many teens tend to vape, so it is a fun thing to do
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all the time. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 the
USA
Punctuation problem
USA,
show examples
 more than 5 million young minds were reported vaping because they believe
is it
Correct word order
it is
show examples
 cool to do in public places.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I totally disagree that smokers should be allowed to
smoke
Use synonyms
 in private places because they harm individuals with second-hand
smoke
Use synonyms
, and their bad behaviour of smoking
send
Correct subject-verb agreement
sends
show examples
 a wrong message to young adults that
set
Wrong verb form
sets
show examples
 a bad example for minors.

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task response
Make your view clear in the first line and keep it steady. Do not mix phrases like 'totally disagree' and 'totally go against' in one place.
structure
Add a strong conclusion that restates your view and ends with a short, clear line.
content
Give more full ideas for each point. Explain why it matters and add a short example.
accuracy
Be careful with facts. Check numbers or avoid them if you are not sure.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go from one to the next. Use 'first', 'in addition', 'however', 'therefore'.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Fix errors such as 'suffer from', 'habits', 'maintain', 'permited' and punctuation.
language
Choose simple words and simple sentences. Use correct article and word form to be clear.
stance
Clear view that you disagree with the idea.
structure
There are paragraphs that show a plan: intro, body, and conclusion.
content
You try to use a fact and example to back points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smoke
  • smoking
  • public
  • place
  • rights
  • agree
  • disagree
  • extent
  • health
  • air
  • breath
  • harm
  • danger
  • cost
  • care
  • child
  • old
  • sick
  • police
  • rule
  • ban
  • allow
  • open
  • outside
  • inside
  • area
  • designated
  • support
  • quit
  • help
  • education
  • awareness
  • policy
  • balance
  • freedom
  • choice
  • fair
  • open air
  • crowd
  • entrance
  • door
What to do next:
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