IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As a matter of fact, both physical and mental
strngths
Correct your spelling
strengths
 are two of the main
pillers
Correct your spelling
pillars
 for success in sport.
However
Linking Words
, there is a long
depat
Correct your spelling
debate
 regarding which factor is more
curtial
Correct your spelling
crucial
. Some people argue that having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical
strength
Use synonyms
 is the key
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 playing sports. Others believe that mental
health
Use synonyms
 is more important.
Following
Correct article usage
The following
show examples
 are the points that each team uses to support their view. On the one hand, the majority agrees that being
physical
Replace the word
physically
show examples
 strong plays a significant role in achievements in sports.
Athelets
Correct your spelling
Athletes
 have to keep a regular
excercising
Correct your spelling
exercise
 routine.
Also
Linking Words
, they have to watch their eating
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
 and maintain a healthy diet. They will need their
strength
Use synonyms
 to win competition and be able to win competitions.
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
 the other hand, mental
health
Use synonyms
 plays a significant part in having a successful
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 journey. Many people argue that psychological status directly affects the physical condition of athletes.
For example
Linking Words
, the pressure caused by the strong competition in the sports sector causes many
psycological illneses
Correct your spelling
psychological illnesses
 like depression. Because of
this
Linking Words
many
Punctuation problem
, many
show examples
 players are leaving the field.
Also
Linking Words
,
numerious
Correct your spelling
numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
physical diseases are mainly a result of
psycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the mental
health
Use synonyms
 of the player affects his/ her physical condition and
strength
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, mental
health
Use synonyms
 is as important as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical
strength
Use synonyms
 for success in sport. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I believe that the mental condition of players has
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 critical effect on their success than their
phsyical
Correct your spelling
physical
Use synonyms
strength
Punctuation problem
strength,
show examples
 as it is affected by it.
That is
Linking Words
 to
say
Punctuation problem
say,
show examples
 to have a strong body
you
Punctuation problem
, you
show examples
 should have a healthy mental status.
Therefore
Linking Words
, players should keep a healthy lifestyle by
excercising
Correct your spelling
exercising
 regularly, maintaining a healthy diet and most
Correct your spelling
importantly
impotantly
Punctuation problem
impotantly,
show examples
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 care of his/ her mental
health
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Explain your main idea clearly in each paragraph with a topic sentence.
task response
Balance the two views and give clear reasons for your own view.
coherence
Use simple linking words to connect ideas and avoid repeated phrases.
language grammar
Fix spelling and grammar; check plural and verb form.
content
Give one or two concrete examples to support points.
content
The writer tries to discuss both sides of the issue.
task response
There is a clear opinion at the end.
coherence
Paragraphs use 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show view changes.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical conditioning
  • athleticism
  • physical training
  • muscle strength
  • mental resilience
  • psychological preparedness
  • mental toughness
  • confidence
  • precision
  • focus
  • mental strategies
  • mental fortitude
  • brute strength
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