IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that technology has made our lives easier, while others think it has created more problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Technology
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 has become an integral part of our
lives
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. Many
people
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 believe that it has made our
lives
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 easier,
while
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 others disagree with
this
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 stance.
This
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 essay will discuss both views in detail. First of all,
technology
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 has made our everyday tasks easier and less time-consuming. Nowadays, robots and artificial intelligence can complete everyday tasks in minutes and
saves
Correct subject-verb agreement
save
show examples
 human effort and time.
For example
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, robots are substituting classroom teachers in schools.
Secondly
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,
technology
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 provides
opportunity
Correct article usage
an opportunity
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 for
people
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 around the world to connect with
eachother
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each other
.
People
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 from different parts of the world can work together by sharing ideas and providing solutions to real-world problems.
For instance
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, during the time of Covid19 pandemic, social media was a powerful medium for
people
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 to communicate and stay connected with their loved ones.
On the other hand
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,
while
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technology
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 has made our
lives
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 easier, it has
also
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 made us extremely
dependable
Correct word choice
dependent
show examples
 on it. Artificial intelligence
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 solutions to complex problems in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 minutes without any intellectual
efforts
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effort
show examples
.
As a result
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, humans are losing their problem-solving and cognitive skills.
For example
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, students prefer using artificial intelligence to complete their assignments
instead
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 of using their own minds.
Furthermore
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, social media sites and robots can be misused to commit
frauds
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fraud
show examples
 and crimes.
For example
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, criminals are using social media sites to retrieve personal information and blackmail innocent victims to get money out of them. To sum it up, as
technology
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 has made our
lives
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 faster and effortless, it cannot be ignored that it can
also
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 create problems
such
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 as cybercrimes and intellectual dependency.

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task response
Say your own view clearly in one place, for example in the intro or the last paragraph.
task response
Add more detail to each idea with a simple, real example.
coherence
Use a clear topic sentence at the start of each paragraph and keep one main idea per paragraph.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words like also, but, however, and for example.
grammar
Check small grammar problems, like depend ent vs dependent and each other as two words.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides of the issue.
structure
It uses linking words to move from one idea to another.
examples
It gives a real example (Covid-19) to back a point.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • streamlined processes
  • constant connectivity
  • learning and adaptation
  • enhance convenience
  • accessible services
  • remote work
  • flexible schedules
  • work-life balance
  • evolving nature
  • 'always on' culture
What to do next:
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