IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

people now have freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. do the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantage?

It's thought that employees nowadays could do their work from anywhere they like, benefit from the evolution of technology and transportation. I think
this
Linking Words
 development gives benefits to workers. First of all, freedom gives people an enhancement in their job and being creative. In
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
Use the right word
state
show examples
statue
Punctuation problem
statue,
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 give yourself an open mind to think about the problem and try to solve it
Punctuation problem
, specially
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specially
Rephrase
especially
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 in calm spaces.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 you will not be awkward
of
Change preposition
about
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 faffing
surround
Use the right word
around
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 the room and be
wildered
Verb problem
bewildered
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. There was a company in the capital city (an
advertiser
Replace the word
advertising
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 company) that had a lot of employees
resigned
Wrong verb form
resign
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 from it because it had a burnout environment
that
Correct word choice
where
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 all the workers
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffered
show examples
apathetic
Replace the word
apathy
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of
Change preposition
towards
show examples
 their
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
. To
summarize
Change the spelling
summarise
show examples
freedom
Punctuation problem
, freedom
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give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 people space to be creative.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is important to remember that not everyone has these advantages.
Such
Linking Words
 as kids in Africa or other underdeveloped countries
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 cannot do anything to get into good colleges and have a successful life. Others shun each other,
while
Linking Words
 they (the kids in Africa) are living in filth and cannot even get proper water. When others are complaining about their thesis being
out-of-date
Use the right word
out of date
show examples
, they cannot even complain about the seawater being too greasy and undrinkable. So, no matter how much automation has developed, it has not developed that much, because if it did, the underprivileged and the poor would have equal opportunities as the ones living in the
high-ranks
Use the right word
high ranks
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 of our world’s standards. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 development gives benefits for workers. Freedom gives people an enhancement in their job and being creative, and it is important to remember that not everyone has these advantages.

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structure
Plan your answer. Start with a short intro that says you agree with the idea and what you will talk about.
content
Make 2 or 3 clear ideas. Explain each with a simple example.
cohesion
Use clear links to show how ideas go together.
grammar
Check grammar. Shorter, simple sentences are easier to read.
content
Keep this topic in mind; avoid long off topic lines.
structure
End with a short conclusion that restates your view.
idea
There is a main idea about work from anywhere.
example
Some clear examples are given, like a company with burnout.
structure
The end states a view about benefits.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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