IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is through education. Towhat extent do you agree or disagree?

The pie chart illustrates a breakdown of the proportion of different kinds of
communicationtraining
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communication training
 taken by employees in an international company and the reasons
of
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apply
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they participated
inthe
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in the
 training.
Overall
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, part-time training(evening) accounted for the largest portion,
whereas
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theproportions
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the proportions
 for intensive training and distant
leaming
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learning
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 were comparatively small. Meanwhile,
mostemployees
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most employees
 chose to take part in the communication training because of their holiday travel. In detail, part-time training(evening) made up a substantial 39% among all types of training
.
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,
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which was approximately eight times larger than the smallest part, distant
leamning
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learning
(5%).
Followedclosely
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Followed closely
 by two kinds that occupied the same proportion, part-time training(weekends)
andself-tuition
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and self-tuition
both
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, both
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 standing at 22%o. The percentage of intensive training was slightly lower, at 12%.
In addition
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, holiday travel was the main reason, taking up the largest at 46%, which was twice
asmuch
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as much
 as the second largest sector, business travel(17%).
In contrast
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, the minimum reason
wasobserved
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was observed
 in communication with clients, at 10%. The figures for other reasons and
personalinterest
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personal interest
 were
closely
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close
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, representing respectively at 13% and 14%.

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grammar
Fix small grammar and spell errors to make meaning clear.
structure
Use 2 or 3 clear parts: an intro, a detail part for each type, and a short summary of main trend.
data
Check numbers and say them clearly so readers can see the trend.
structure
The chart data is put in, for both types of training and for reasons.
structure
There is a simple overview at the start.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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