IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

In
this
Linking Words
 modern world, keeping a young appearance by using cosmetic products or
doing
Verb problem
undergoing
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 medical operations is becoming a trend, but what are the advantages and disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint? In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both positive and negative aspects and give my opinion. On the one hand, the benefits of remaining young-looking face must be mentioned. First of all, it carries
confidence
Correct article usage
a confidence
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 value that enhances the social aspects.
This
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 is
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 confidence is one of the attractions of
socializing
Change the spelling
socialising
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, and cosmetic products enable us to look younger.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is a positive tendency, as it brings long-term economic advantages in modern society; to be more specific, because more and more people pursue the young beauty, it provides a firm structure for related industries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, maintaining
outfit
Correct article usage
an outfit
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in
Change preposition
at
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small
Correct article usage
a small
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 age has its drawbacks that should be considered. It is harmful to the skin whenever girls
do
Verb problem
wear
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 makeup. Cosmetic products are made with chemical ingredients, which means every single part of your face is detrimental. Another strong argument is cost. The cost depends on what extent of maintaining a young beauty; the price for general cosmetic commodities is affordable;
however
Linking Words
, it would be a huge cost for
long-period
Correct word choice
long-term
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 use. In conclusion, I personally agree that people look younger as long as they have confidence. Of course, trying to make up
by
Change preposition
for
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beauty
Correct article usage
a beauty
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 product can be encouraged.

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task response
Strengthen your clear view in the end. State your main point in one strong sentence.
structure
Use a simple plan: intro with thesis, two body parts (pros and cons), and a clear conclusion.
lexical
Fix wrong words and bad phrases. Use makers like makeup, cosmetics, or beauty products correctly.
structure
The essay has an intro and a two-idea body, which shows basic planning.
task response
It discusses both sides, which fits the task well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • look younger
  • young
  • look
  • product
  • cream
  • pill
  • treatment
  • surgery
  • buy
  • cost
  • price
  • safe
  • danger
  • risk
  • health
  • doctor
  • rules
  • laws
  • advertising
  • pressure
  • body image
  • self-esteem
  • confidence
  • inequality
  • rich
  • poor
  • choice
  • decision
  • natural aging
  • accept aging
What to do next:
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