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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, truancy* is a worrying problem for both parents and educators. What are the causes of truancy, and what may be the effects on the child and the wider community?

All over the world,
truancy
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major issue for both
parents
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 and
schools
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 and
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
many
Punctuation problem
, many
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 problems are faced by
parents
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 ,
schools
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 and
students
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itself
Fix the agreement mistake
themselves
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the main causes and
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 effect on children and
community
Correct article usage
the community
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. The first major cause for
truancy
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 is
,
Correct word choice
that
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 the children makes plan that
instead
Linking Words
 of going to
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school
Punctuation problem
school,
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 they can go to
mall
Correct article usage
the mall
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 to watch
movie
Correct article usage
a movie
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 or
can
Verb problem
apply
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go to restaurants to eat lunch
as a
Linking Words
result
Use synonyms
 of boredom in
school
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.
For example
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, friends
making
Wrong verb form
made
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 a plan
day
Correct article usage
the day
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 before yesterday in
school
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 that they
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 meet
and
Change preposition
at
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 one place and from there they will go to watch movies and have fun.
This
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 can
result
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 in affecting the studies of
students
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 because when they don’t attend the
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schools
Punctuation problem
schools,
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 their work doesn’t get completed on time
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 a
Use synonyms
result
Punctuation problem
result,
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 they are not able to study at home
as well as
Linking Words
 at
tuition's
Check wording
tuition
show examples
 if their work is not completed. Another cause that leads to
truancy
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 is the
supervision
Check wording
lack of supervision
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.When any child leaves for
school
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 ,
parents
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 are not aware whether the child is reaching
school
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 on time or going
some where
Correct your spelling
somewhere
 else to have fun by skipping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the educators
doesn’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
don’t
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 care about the children whether they are attending the classes or not.
For instance
Linking Words
, any student
write
Correct subject-verb agreement
writes
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 the application that
I am
Correct pronoun usage
they are
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 not feeling well
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 because of
which I
Correct pronoun usage
this, they
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 will not be able to attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 at
home
Add a comma
home,
show examples
parents
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 don’t know about it because
schools
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doesn’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
don’t
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cross check
Correct your spelling
cross-check
.
As a
Linking Words
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result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 it can have
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 impact on the exams as there are high chances
or
Change preposition
of
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students
Use synonyms
getting failed
Wrong verb form
failing
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 because
students
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 miss every topic that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 necessary for there basic
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 if their basic is not
clear
Punctuation problem
clear,
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 their
future
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 will get worse.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these
students
Use synonyms
 are the
future
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 of the country
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 if they are not taking care of themselves
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
, this
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 can impact the whole community
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 they are responsible in
future
Use synonyms
 to take the responsibility of the community. In conclusion,
students
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needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 to be serious about their
future
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 and studies and avoid
truancy
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 as it can
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
studies
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 their
parents
Use synonyms
 who are paying their fees.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Write clear causes and clear effects on the child and the wider community.
task response
Use ideas that are easy to follow. Some points are there, but a few are not fully explained.
task response
Give examples that fit the main idea in a direct way. Keep them short and clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea. This will help the essay feel more ordered.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple way. Some sentences are long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check how one sentence leads to the next. At times the flow is weak or jumps too fast.
task response
You answered the topic and gave more than one cause of truancy.
task response
You included effects on children and also on the community.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used simple linking words like first, another, moreover, and in conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • truancy
  • absenteeism
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • mental health
  • domestic problems
  • curriculum
  • juvenile delinquency
  • workforce
  • community cohesion
  • social activities
  • parental involvement
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • social isolation
What to do next:
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