IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that professionals such as doctors or engineers should be required to work in their home country while others think they should be free to work in other countries. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In these
Change preposition
These
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 days, there are many careers to choose from, and
work
Use synonyms
-life opportunities have enabled many skilled employees to find jobs
elsewhere
Linking Words
 in more
developing
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
 countries.
However
Linking Words
, many people think that
such
Linking Words
 professions should bring more comfort and stability than working abroad.
While
Linking Words
 it is reasonable to think that one should prefer to make decisions carefully,
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the topic and give reasons to support the claim. First and foremost, working inside a country is more convenient and closer to family.
As a result
Linking Words
, many people who follow
this
Linking Words
 path could
work
Use synonyms
 close to home and do not often commute or live far away from their family because their
workplace
Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
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 are nearer to where they live.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they won't suffer from alienation, stress from
work
Use synonyms
,
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
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 sickness
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can undermine their performance because they have direct relatives to accompany them when they feel isolated or unsatisfied.
Secondly
Linking Words
, people may have more chances of receiving bonuses when they
work
Use synonyms
 locally and even get promoted if they dedicate themselves and earn good achievements.
However
Linking Words
, in other countries where many elite
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are well-adept, there is not only
serious
Verb problem
does serious
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 competition
arises
Correct subject-verb agreement
arise
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 that
makes
Wrong verb form
making
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 working more difficult and
causes
Wrong verb form
causing
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 constant pressure for them to keep up with the pace, but
also
Linking Words
 redundancies or instability in
work
Use synonyms
, let alone receiving rewards or climbing up the
rank
Fix the agreement mistake
ranks
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On the other hand
Linking Words
,
there
Rephrase
apply
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working abroad can
also
Linking Words
 have advantages, as it usually offers considerably higher earnings in return for harsh disciplinary and extreme demands for
high-performances
Use the right word
high performance
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 provides a more modern way of living that cannot be found in a country where you live locally.
Instead
Linking Words
 of conventional amenities, you may be provided with more convenient
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms
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transport
Change preposition
of transport
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, better living standards .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, working abroad in a famous corporation can expose you to a more well-arranged way of working and allow you to learn new things and discover many legal
work
Use synonyms
 ethics. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 working abroad offers higher salaries and valuable experience, working inside one's own country provides stability and closeness to family.
Therefore
Linking Words
, individuals should carefully consider their personal priorities before deciding where to
work
Use synonyms
.

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clarity
Tell your own clear view in the first or last paragraph so the reader knows your stand.
structure
Use clear and short sentences. Do not keep long lines; split ideas in simple parts.
language
Check your word choice. Use easy, common words to say the idea.
content
You talk about both sides of the topic.
structure
You use link words to show order and contrast.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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