The maps below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today

The maps illustrate Grange
Park
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when it first opened in 1920 and the same
park
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now.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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from the maps, there are many parts replaced and some are moved. The
park
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is bordered on the north by Arnold Avenue and Eldon Street from the south, with two entrances from both sides. In terms of the first blueprint, the
park
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seats are separated all over the
park
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.
Also
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, there was a fountain which was located in the centre. There are three rose gardens, one in the north east, the second in the opposite direction, and the
last
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one in the south east of the
park
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. There is
also
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, stage for musicians which is placed on the west side of the Grange
Park
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.
In addition
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, a pond for water plants is in the corner of the north east. Glasshouse is next to the south entrance from the right. The current map shows many changing areas.
First,
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the rose garden was relocated to the centre and surrounded by seats. There is
also
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another rose garden that stays in the same place in the northwest.
In addition
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, an amphitheatre for concerts is built on the western side.
Furthermore
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, a cafe is established next to the children's play area in the right-hand corner. The glass house is replaced by a water feature.
Also
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, an entrance car
park
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is established.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, in addition".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • park
  • open
  • features
  • facilities
  • playground
  • café
  • walking paths
  • developed
  • space
  • sports
  • social activities
  • benches
  • picnic spots
  • comfortable
  • visitors
  • trees
  • grass
  • areas
  • addition
  • more
  • today
  • in
  • when
  • it
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