IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the percentage of people with mobile phones who use various features on their phone between 2006 and 2010.

the
Fix capitalization
The
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 table
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
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 the
propaition
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of individuals with mobile phones
whi
Correct your spelling
with
 various
featuers
Correct your spelling
features
 on
thier
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their
 phone over a
period
Use synonyms
 of four
years
Use synonyms
Overall
Linking Words
, individuals who make calls were the highest by far
,
Punctuation problem
.
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Meanwhile
Punctuation problem
Meanwhile,
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take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 photos
increaed
Correct your spelling
increased
 over the
years
Use synonyms
, by constract play games fell ,
while
Linking Words
search
Replace the word
searching
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in
Change preposition
on
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 the internet grew
,
Punctuation problem
. Furthermore
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Linking Words
furthermore
Punctuation problem
furthermore,
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play
Wrong verb form
playing
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 music rose over the next
years
Use synonyms
,
Correct word choice
and recored
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recored
Correct your spelling
recorded
 videos had dramatically increased over the
last
Linking Words
 year of the
period
Use synonyms
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 2008
making
Punctuation problem
, making
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 calls remained
the
Correct article usage
apply
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relaitvley
Correct your spelling
relatively
 the same
of
Change preposition
as in
show examples
 2006
,
Punctuation problem
. In
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in
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 it decreased from 100 to 99 in 2010,
wheres
Use the right word
whereas
show examples
 taking photos showed
rising
Wrong verb form
a rise
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 over just two
years
Use synonyms
 from 66 to 76
,
Punctuation problem
. However
show examples
however
Linking Words
searching
Punctuation problem
, searching
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet and recording videos showed no data at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 Next to
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 it increased
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2008 to 2010. The
figrue
Correct your spelling
figure
 of texting and receiving messages grew over the three
years
Use synonyms
.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
playing
Punctuation problem
, playing
show examples
 games fell from 42 to 41 in 2010,
while
Linking Words
 playing music grew from 18 to 26 in 2010

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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