IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree

It is argued that the
work
Use synonyms
 period must be reduced and
employees
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 should have more rest
days
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.
This
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 essay totally agrees with the statement because
minimizing
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minimising
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work
Use synonyms
 hours would benefit the individual’s occupation, and it would give people the time to invest in themselves.  Decreasing the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of working
days
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 is an essential factor to perform better
while
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 producing tasks. If
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
 had enough rest and quality time
it
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, it
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will
Wrong verb form
would
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 make them passionate to get back to their job,
work
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 harder, and strive. Which will lead to a positive result for the company because
thiee
Correct your spelling
the
 performance will be twice as
better
Correct word choice
good
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than
Change preposition
as
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 working for more
week
Use the right word
weekdays
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days
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, a previous study has shown that
employees
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 in
Apple
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the Apple
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 company increased the outcomes of Apple by working
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
days
Use synonyms
 than before. Another reason is that it will allow them to return to their hobbies and interests,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 will impact their
pesonallity
Correct your spelling
personality
 in various aspects. Enjoying activities that are not
job related
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job-related
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 will increase the person’s dopamine.
Therefor
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Therefore
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, it is going to result in their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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, mindset, and how they treat the tasks they are given. It will give them the chance to
work
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 better and be more creative.
Furthermore
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, it will not only benefit the occupation but
also
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 their life. The individual’s personality is going to be more productive and motivated.
In
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For
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 instance, in
2018
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2018,
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 the USA
has
Verb problem
apply
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reported that around 45% of
employees
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 started
be
Wrong verb form
being
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 more
prodctive
Correct your spelling
productive
 after getting back to their hobbies. In conclusion, the length of working
days
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 should be
shortend
Correct your spelling
shortened
 and rest
days
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 should be more because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 it will affect the job and
employees
Use synonyms
 positively
and
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, and
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 it could be seen as an advantage for one’s life.

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task
Be clear with your main point in the first line and keep it in every paragraph.
task
You show your view clearly.
coherence
Some ideas link to rest and hobbies which can grow work in a good way.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: