IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Transport plays
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 important role in everyone's lives
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is essential for survival. There is an ongoing debate that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should support
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
 rather than roads. I partly agree and partly disagree with the statement because both
mode
Fix the agreement mistake
modes
show examples
 of transport are
equaly
Correct your spelling
equally
 required by
evry
Correct your spelling
every
 human being.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Railway
Correct article usage
the Railway
show examples
 allows
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
travel
Use synonyms
 anywhere
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 cost from one state to another
state
Check wording
apply
show examples
. A growing number of
people
Use synonyms
 get all facilities
such
Linking Words
 as food ,
snacksfrom
Correct your spelling
snacks from
 every platform in the train
while
Linking Words
 travelling for long hours where
as
Change preposition
whereas
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a bus
show examples
bus
Punctuation problem
bus,
show examples
 it is not possible.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
People
Use synonyms
 have
washroom
Fix the agreement mistake
washrooms
show examples
 and sleeping facilities
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 make their ride comfortable.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 should support
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 more as it is
budget friendly
Use the right word
budget-friendly
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, Trains never take number of
people
Use synonyms
 inside the city, which is another major drawback.
Instead
Linking Words
,
Through
Fix capitalization
through
show examples
bus
Use synonyms
 one can
travel
Use synonyms
 from city to city easily for short
travel
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 3
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can
travel
Use synonyms
 without any reservations
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
bus
Use synonyms
 by purchasing tickets from local counters.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are numerous
bus
Use synonyms
 services
after
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every half an hour for everyone
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 if they
fo
Use the right word
do
show examples
 not book
it
Punctuation problem
it,
show examples
 they might get another
bus
Use synonyms
 immediately.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 can get some luxurious private for travelling for long hours with many services.
Body paragraph 4
In my opinion,
Both
Fix capitalization
both
show examples
 transport have
prons
Check wording
pros
show examples
 and cons.
it
Fix capitalization
It
show examples
depends
upon
Change preposition
on
show examples
travel
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
person and their budget too.
Conclusion
I believe authorities should focus on
bot
Check wording
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
both
show examples
 aspects equally
instead
Linking Words
 of focusing only on one, which may lead to
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 economic growth.

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development
Make your view clear in the first line. Say if you fully or partly agree. Then give a line that sums this view.
structure
Use one big idea in each paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and then give a tiny example.
flow
Use simple link words to show how ideas go from one to the next. e.g. also, but, however, for example.
evidence
Give clear examples that fit the idea. Explain why this helps the point you make.
language
Fix basic grammar and spelling. Check plural, verb form and possessive.
content
The essay tries to point out both rail and road roles.
structure
It has an opening idea and a closing line that try to show balance.
content
It gives some real life points like bus timing and train costs.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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