IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

spending money for protecting species is awaste money by some, do you agree or disagree

Absolutely disagree, protecting animal species means you become the guard of the earth itself, you will protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature itself
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 good things will come to all of us. Example if someone donate to rhino preserve like Ujung Kulon National Park, the
money
Use synonyms
 they give will help the caretakers to maintain the rhinos health and life,
then
Linking Words
 the caretakers will give you gratitude for the donation and maybe help you in the future and other good benefits for yourself like satisfaction that you can help them and you will be grateful because you can protect
this
Linking Words
 beautiful nature using your own hard work. The society will see you as a
savior
Change the spelling
saviour
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 too because the
money
Use synonyms
 you use can save the
species
Check wording
species'
show examples
 life and
make
Verb problem
enable
show examples
 the younger generation can see and interact with the animal or plant species because you saved them using your own
money
Use synonyms
. But if you use the
money
Use synonyms
 just to feed your own ego's what will you get? temporary satisfaction because you bought a sports car?
what
Fix capitalization
What
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 benefits the nature or society get?
money
Use synonyms
 to the company and workers,
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 that
bad
Verb problem
is bad
show examples
 for your lungs, wasting your
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 something unnecessary is a bad decision. So if you can, use your
money
Use synonyms
 for something good, think
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
will you
Correct word order
you will
show examples
 get before you spend the
money
Use synonyms
 and the benefits to the world itself, think before
buy
Correct pronoun usage
you buy
show examples
, don't be blind.

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plan
Plan before you write. Start with a clear line that says what you think. Then give two or three ideas. Each idea uses one example.
link
Use easy link words to show order: first, next, also, finally. They help the writing go from idea to idea.
paragraph
Make each paragraph about one idea. Start with a line about that idea. Then add details.
grammar
Check your grammar and spelling. Use the right verb form. Keep words simple and clear.
strength
Clear view at the start
strength
Uses a real example to back up a point
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • spending money
  • protecting species
  • waste of money
  • partial agreement
  • arguments against
  • benefits outweigh drawbacks
  • ethical responsibility
  • investment in the future
  • maintain ecosystem balance
  • loss of biodiversity
  • economic benefits
  • ecotourism
  • bioprospecting
  • scientific discoveries
  • advancements in medicine
  • development of new technologies
  • overall health and well-being
  • allocation of resources
  • utilized effectively and efficiently
  • public awareness campaigns
  • education programs
  • change perceptions
  • worthwhile investment
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