IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that all law breakers should be put into prison while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is always a topic of
bebate
Correct your spelling
debate
weather
Use the right word
whether
show examples
 criminals must be
sentence
Replace the word
sentenced
show examples
 to
jail
Use synonyms
 or other ways can be used. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 different ways
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as rehabilitation
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
centers
Punctuation problem
centers,
show examples
 are more efficient in order to make them good
civilians
Check wording
citizens
show examples
. In order to give consequences
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 rule
breaker's
Check wording
breakers'
show examples
 actions
rehabilitation
Punctuation problem
, rehabilitation
show examples
center
Replace the word
centres
show examples
 are
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 alternative to
jail
Use synonyms
sentence
Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
show examples
. It is important that
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
 learn from their
mitakes
Correct your spelling
mistakes
 and
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
 good
persons
Check wording
people
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society. In rehabilitation
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
centers
Add a comma
centers,
show examples
 they will learn new skills, which can be used to get jobs afterwards.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in these
facilties
Correct your spelling
facilities
 they learn
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 correction
trainings
Fix the agreement mistake
training
show examples
 which
inhibit
Correct subject-verb agreement
inhibits
show examples
 them
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
such
Linking Words
 actions in the future. For
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, research data of a study done in LLR college showed that criminals who serve their punishment in correctional facilities are 52%
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
less
likey
Use the right word
likely
show examples
 to recommit the crims. Some crimes are very dangerous,
that
Change preposition
so
show examples
jail
Use synonyms
 punishment is the only
options
Fix the agreement mistake
option
show examples
 to serve
penality
Use the right word
penalty
show examples
 for justification
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as murderers.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 I believe that
such
Linking Words
personalities
Punctuation problem
personalities,
show examples
 when they go to
jail
Use synonyms
 they meet with
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 criminals, which
put
Verb problem
has
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 impact on their cognition.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, their
mindet
Correct your spelling
minds
 remain
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they started living with
criminal mind
Use the right word
criminal-minded
show examples
pople
Correct your spelling
people
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they
even can not
Correct word order
cannot even
show examples
 learn new skills to hunt
jobs
Change preposition
for jobs
show examples
 after serving
jail
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, there is
more
Correct word choice
a greater
show examples
 tendency for them to
recomit crime
Verb problem
reoffend
show examples
 again. In the conclusion, it is often argued that either
jail
Use synonyms
 punishment is better or there are other options. In my opinion, other options can serve better to help them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
restart their life after serving.

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task fulfillment
Address the task directly. State a clear opinion and discuss both views with balanced detail.
coherence
Improve paragraph structure. Start with a topic sentence, add supporting ideas, and end with a short link to the next idea.
grammar
Use simple, common words. Keep grammar simple. Correct spelling mistakes.
content
Give more precise examples and explain why they support your view.
facts
Be careful with numbers and facts; if you cite studies, make sure they are plausible and accurate.
content
clear attempt to discuss both sides of the issue.
structure
There is an overall clear conclusion that gives opinion.
coherence
Some sentences show an aim to use linking ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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